Strider Radio
by Pandaswithsunglasses
Summary: Dave was feeling a bit over worked so he decided he needed an assistant. Little did he know that one of his interviewers would make his heart skip and may just be better than apple juice. There'll be a lot of parings, Broadway karkat references, and because Karkat is indeed in here lots of un-needed swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Dave sat in his office twirling his pen with his fingers. It was 3:00 and his next appointment would be there soon. He was looking for an assistant, lately his work was getting piled up and there were to many phone calls for him to be able to answer. Why couldn't people just take a break. He yawned and put his feet on the corner of the desk, he hadn't got any sleep last night. Too busy writing down song requests. Normally he'd be on air right now, but last night he also recorded himself and now thats playing on the radio. Knock knock. Dave sat up a bit, trying to look imposing, he loved to see them flustered.

"Come in, please." Dave called out. Slowly the door opened revealing a thin boy, not much younger than dave, with unruly black hair and big glasses. The boy smiled the cutest smile with buck teeth. Normally buck teeth weren't Daves thing, but today they certainly were. He smiled inwardly, and hoped the boy couldn't see his cheeks get a bit red. "Please sit down." Dave motioned toward the chair in front of him, the boy quickly did.

"Hello." The boy smiled nervously Dave's heart jumped.

"Hello... Mr. Egbert." Dave looked down at his list to learn the name.

"Please, call me John." John said keeping the smile on his face.

"Okay... John." Dave fought down a smile, it was like the boys smile was contagious. He picked up his clip board with the questions on it and used it to subtly hide his mouth.

"Alright, lets begin." Dave announced and John nodded his head slightly. Johns smile was gone he looked very concentrated. Though to Dave he looked absolutely ridiculous and adorable. "Why do you want this job?"

"Well, I'm honestly a big fan of yours and I recently got fired from my old job... So I'm kinda in the need for money." John looked down a bit, Looking a bit downtrodden.

"Why were you fired?" Dave asked detouring from the questions list.

"W-well... my boss never liked me... s-so when he found out... umm.. that..." John fidgeted in his seat and looked like someone was torturing him. Usually Dave enjoyed people looking like this, but with Egbert it was a torture of his own.

"Okay, you don't need to go further, you didn't get along with your boss. Next, How do handle stress and pressure?" Dave continued with the interview, John looked relieved.

"I'd like to think I handle it quite well... though I'm sure too much would set me off." John answered honestly and looked up with a dazed expression. Dave watched him stare in to nothingness, he was so fucking adorable.

"How fast can you type?"

"95 wpm" Johns goofy smile was back.

"Some words to describe yourself?"

" Ummm funny, goofy, nerdy, and loyal." John tapped his finger on his leg with every word. Dave couldn't help but smile at his description, especially the last word. He hid the smile with the clip board.

"Do you work well with other people?" "

Yes! I love people." The smile was as wide as his little face would allow.

"And finally," Dave leaned forward on his elbows, laced his fingers together, and placed his chin in the the little finger hammock. He stared right at John, though it was hard to tell with the sunglasses.

"What would you do if you didn't get this job?"

"W-well... to tell the truth I'd be sad. I don't actually expect to get this really, it's just kinda my dream job. Also I'm just glad I got to meet you in person." John smiled a smaller smile, it almost seemed like he forgot dave was there. Dave stood up quickly, John jumped a bit.

"Well, thank you for coming. I will consider you for the job and I'll call in three day to let you know the results." Dave walked swiftly to the door and opened it, John stood up slowly and followed Dave to the door.

"Uh.. thank you for seeing me..." John stepped through the door but quickly turned as Dave was about to close the door."Wait! I-I have a quick question..."

"Ask away."

"Do you always wear those glasses? I thought it was just for like photo shoot stuff..." John tipped his head to the left.

"I'll tell you the four times I ever take them off, sleeping, showers, swimming, and when I kiss someone." Dave smiled a devilish smile. "Byes." He shut the door, feeling extremely proud of himself. He pressed his ear against the door. He heard john mumble something then shoes scuffling and the small taps of shoes leaving. Dave finally let a full smile out and walked happily back to his desk. He had interviewed 24 other people before Egbert, 4 of them today. None of them even compared to him. First was guy who just complemented Dave on everything, Second was a girl who was trying to use her looks to get the job, third was another girl who was way to confident in getting the job, and fourth was guy who was just too normal for Dave's tastes. If he was going to work with someone, he wanted them to be entertaining while still doing their job. He knew John would be entertaining. Whether he could do his job or not... Dave hoped he could. He looked at his phone and seriously considered calling john right then. He shook his head, in three days he could. He flexed his hands a couple times and got up. He sauntered over to an end table next to the office door. He turned on the radio sitting neatly on the table. "Welcome back ladies and gentleman to Strider Radio! Changing music trends one stride at a time!" Dave heard his own voice reciting the slogan. He actually hated the slogan, but that made him using it ironic. He smiled to himself and checked the clock 3:50. At four he would have to go live and the never ending requests would come flowing in. He sighed and headed towards the studio to get prepared and set up a song line up.


	2. Chapter 2

Dave's semi-peaceful sleep was interrupted by his very obnoxious alarm clock. His pale hand shot out from the warm blanket nest to violently smack the loud device. He hit the snooze and silence rolled through the room. He pulled his, card suit theme, blankets over his face and moaned. Once again he didn't get a good nights sleep, he hadn't in almost two years now. He sighed and flung the blankets off. The cold air hit him like a knife but his will power was too strong for it. He laughed to himself, over dramatizing the morning makes it a bit better. Dave stood up and stretched as tall as he could, his back cracked a few times. He smiled a bit and walked to the kitchen to see what he could find that was edible. He passed the fire place with a few pictures on the mantle. The pictures mainly showcased his brother with a few pictures of both of them. He smiled at the pictures sadly and nodded at them, he didn't stop for long. His feet carried him to his destination and within seconds he was in front of the fridge. He rummaged through it and soon found an apple. Sadly he had drank the last of his juice yesterday, he planned on going shopping later today due to that horrific fact. He headed to the living room, plopped on the couch, and turned the t.v on. Some show about mobsters came on, he decided he liked it and continued to watch for the rest of the morning. The show was over so he hopped off the couch and headed back to his room to put a shirt and some pants on. He was pretty sure that those were necessary to go to the market. He grabbed a red t shirt and and some black skinny jeans, after getting dressed he grabbed his aviators off his end table. With the newly darkened view, it was a bit hard to see but he was used to it. He could navigate through the pitch dark if he had too, people said the glasses would ruin his eye sight, such accusations were so silly.  
'Im happy~ I'm feelin sad I got sunshine~ in bag I'm useless~ but not for long-'

"Karcrab what's up?" He slipped his phone out of his pocket.

"Strider I'm going to be in town so we're hanging out and don't fucking call me that!"

"Sweet, think I could get interview? You haven't been on lately and I got plenty of request for the karcrab."

"Strider, I was thinking more like a movie night."

"A movie night!? You always have to pick the movie and they always suck."

"Screw you ! My movies are the very best classics!"

"Right just like how you thought 50 shades of grey was going to be a good book."

"That was a temporary lapse of fucking judgment."

"Right."

"You know what fuck you strider."

"Anytime darlin."

"No, just shut the fuck up, Friday night. Movie night. Your choice. Your place. Got it?"

"Heh yeah, 8 o clock work?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic see you then."

"Bye karcrabs."

"Fuck you." With that, Dave's childhood friend hung up. He and Karkat had been friends since 3rd grade when Karkat saved him from the scrutiny of his 'friends'. They had knocked off his glasses and started gawking and making fun of his eyes, saying he had a deadly form of pink eye. That day Karkat had just moved to the school and hadn't even been there for more then 10 minutes before he walked up to the kids and yelled at them to shut the frick up or he'd shove dirt in their mouths. Being as tiny as Karkat was at the time, it was pretty impressive. They became best friends within seconds, their friendship survived middle school and high school. They were pretty much inseparable even after highschool. Karkat though got forced in to a singing contest by his gf and inadvertently won. His prize was a three year contract with a record company. Everyone knew that he was amazing singing, despite how much he screamed at people. Within a year Karkat was on the radio with "Ave Mary Am." With karkat touring all the time and Dave being stuck in a booth almost 24/7 they only hung out when karkat happened to be in a town near him, about once a month. Dave really didn't know anyone other than karkat, despite how hard he tried to hide it Dave really wasn't good with people . People pried and they don't seem understand the word no. A lot of people tried to become his friend to try to get on his show once it became rather popular. He'd never admit to anyone ever, but he was quite lonely and wanted a friend to be right there at his fingertips. This was the real reason he wanted an assistant. Why go try to strike up a conversation with a random person when you can interview someone and judge how interesting they'd be. John seemed absolutely perfect to Dave. A slight smile broke out on Dave's face just thinking about the buck toothed boy. Shaking the goofy boy out of his head he left his house to get his much needed apple juice.

* * *

**Why hello there people reading this, sorry for short chapters it just helps me get them out a bit faster. I'm usually pretty bad at that. ^.^ I hope enjoy what I have so far and maybe, just maaybe click that little heart button that watches you so cutely.**


	3. Chapter 3

Dave sat in the recording studios break room staring at his phone laying innocently on a coffee table. He felt like he was preparing to call someone after you got there number in bar. He glanced over at johns resume, looking at the number he had already memorized. Sighing he shoved his butterflies into a cage so they could no longer make him nauseous, he knew his bro would approve of that. He picked up the phone and dialed johns number. As the rings came he felt the butterflies again, those little pests escaped his metaphorical cage. Aren't they crafty.

"Hello?" Johns voice buzzed through the phone.  
Dave took a deep breath and put his cool facade on. "Egbert right?"

"Uh yeah who is this?"

"I'm hurt... you said you were a fan yet you can't recognize my voice."

"D-Dave!?" John just about yelled. Dave pulled his phone away to save his poor eardrums, though the boys enthusiasm was adorable and made him grin.

"The one and only Dave strider has decided that you would be a fantastic assistant."

"Oh my god really?!"

"As long as you accept the term that you have to bring me a monster every morning."

John started laughing nervously like he still didn't believe it. Dave held back a laugh himself at how adorable john was. "I will be more than willing to do that."

"Great, now I need you to get over to the studio and we'll get started."

"A-alright I'll be there in a bit, bye?"

"See ya john." Dave hung up the phone, still smiling.

"Wow look at you socializing like a normal human being." A female voice came from the doorway of the break room. Dave looked over to his boss, rose lalonde. As the manager of the building he knew her pretty well. They were actually drinking buddies not too long ago. They were less than friends more like mutual existences that have strange agreeing moments.

"Yeah yeah, I just hired the new assistant."

"Knowing you, you just picked the most physically pleasing of the group, was it the chick with large breasts?"

"As much as I'd love to have a chick around here with an actual chest on her, I chose a rather flat chested person." Dave got up and grabbed a coffee mug from the cupboard and poured some coffee into it.

"Well then that's surprising, which one was it?" Rose took Dave's coffee and drank some.

"You'll just have to see when they get here." He grabbed the mug back from her and dumped about half a cup of sugar in it.

"Alright I suppose I'll live with that, also you know that much sugar ruins the taste of the coffee, drinking it black is the only way to experience the true flavours."

"I only drink it for the caffeine, the 'flavours' can go dive off a cliff." He took a sip of the coffee and smirked a bit. "Perfect, wanna taste?" Dave held the mug out.

"I thank you for your intriguing offer but I think I'll have to pass on your coffee flavored syrup."

"Don't know what you're missing princess."

"I think I'm missing a date actually." She got a dumbfounded expression, before taking out her digital planner. She was then horrified. "I'll have to become acquainted with your new hire tomorrow. For now I must leave..."

"Oh man YOU have a date? Who's the unlucky guy?"

"None of your business now is it?" She quickly scurried out the room on her little ballet flats with her long black skirt flowing behind her. Dave shook his head, he'd find out soon enough. Taking another sip of his coffee he headed out the the main office, John would come here first and he wanted to be there to show him around. Dave sat down on the couch and debated on reading one of the year old magazines. He heard the automatic doors and slowly turned ,though he knew who he would see. John stood there in all his awkward magnificence, he smiled and waved slightly to Dave. Dave risks a smile and stands up quickly to greet John.

"Good afternoon John, welcome to the radio business." Dave extends his hand to John. An almost impossibly huge smile erupts on Johns face and he takes Dave's hand quickly and shakes it. Once again that contagious smile and adding physical contact to the mix... it's just like he was asking Dave to jump him right now in the lobby. Pushing that thought away Dave quickly pulls away and motioned for John to follow him. Without turning around to make sure John was coming he headed to his recording studio, he was a little nervous to show John that since it was such a mess, but he didn't really have any time to clean it up.

"Dave? Where're we going?" John had stopped following him, Dave turned around on his heels and quickly realized he had passed his studio... The giant red letters that stated his shows name was just above Johns head. Dave, being his 'oh so cool' self, quickly made his explanation.

"I was going to show you the break room first, but if you wanna see the studio first I guess I can roll with that." He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked slowly back to where John was standing. He then took out his key and unlocked his little space of trash and records.

"Woah... this is where you work?" John took the liberty to take a step in and start examining the small little room. Dave cringed as John stepped over a cup of ramen and then a few more. He resisted the urge to shove John out and then clean it all up.

"Yup, sorry for the mess... when you're in a room for more than 12 hours, this," he gestured around, "happens."

"Heh, it's alright It's cleaner than my room." John laughed a bit as he carefully sat down to look at a pile of CD's. Dave walked in and sat down in the chair by the sound mixer, usually it was jammed in next to him in the sound room, but he recently moved it out so his assistant could use it. It dawned on him that he'd have to teach John to use it, he looked at the boy still hunched over his CD's Dave got a massive headache... this was going to awful. "Hey Dave?" John looked up and over at the panicking blonde.

"Yeah?" Dave walked over and crouched next to John, who looked straight at him. Holy shit his eyes are really blue...

"Would you be upset if I borrowed some of these? I'll give them back I promise! I just love your taste in music." John sat one case down on a pile of three others. Dave picked up the pile of of CD's and John eyed him carefully, probably trying to figure out if Dave approved or not. Dave looked at the CD's, he raised his eyebrows as he saw one of Karkats.

"Go ahead, but for every scratch they get I take an inch off your hair." Dave waved his hand over johns head just barely touching his hair.

John flinched away, he debated on whether Dave was serious or not... It was pretty hard to tell. His new boss stood up and walked back to a table with a mixer on it.

"This'll be your little station, I'll teach you to use it later. Notice this phone here, it's for song requests and things like that." Dave then pointed at through the glass window into a room with a mic and a few computers. "That's where I'll be most days and I'll probably ask you to fetch things for me." Dave kicked an energy drink under the table. John tried to keep down a smile, he could tell Dave was embarrassed by the mess. It made him happy to know that his idol was actually embarrassed. Finally a smile broke out on his face and Dave cocked his head to the left.

"Sorry, I just find it funny that you're bugged about mess." John giggled. Dave stood up a bit straighter but other than that showed no other signs of acknowledgment to what John said.

"Let's move to the break room..." Dave opened up the door and held it open for john. John found this kinda humorous as well, but hid his smile a bit better this time. Dave closed the door and walked down the hall way, John tried his best to keep up with Dave but soon fell a step behind as Dave's legs were longer than johns. When they turned the corner John admired the room. White kitchen tile, light purple walls, green counter tops with a fridge, and some dark brown couches that were arranged around a mahogany coffee table. John, only then noticed the girl laying on one the couches. She had large circular glasses, long wavy dark brown hair, and was wearing a long out dated skirt. John also noticed she was fast asleep. Dave sighed and walked up behind the couch.

"John I need you here for a moment." Dave pointed to the ground next to him. John happily jogged over to Dave.

"What are you gonna do?" John wasn't dumb he knew Dave was planning to do something to the sleeping girl.

"On three we're gonna tip the couch over." Dave smirked a bit, John gave him a huge grin and nodded. First day at work and he already was going to be able to do a prank, he was to say the least elated. "1...2...3!" They bent down and yanked the couch up. With a thump the girl was on the floor. John looked up expecting to see a pissed off girl, but instead she was now sleeping on the floor face down butt up.

"How is she still asleep?" He stared in disbelief, he hadn't noticed that he let go of the couch until he heard it thump back on the floor and received a glare, or at least he thought it was a glare, from Dave. Dave stood up and leaned on the back of the couch.

"Meet Jade Harley the girl who can fall sleep in the blink of an eye and stay asleep through a tornado." Dave twirled his pointer finger like a tornado.

"Huh..." John walked around the couch, avoiding the sprawled female limbs, and sat down.

"Yup! Time for some ice cubes..." The blonde walked over to the fridge and dumped some ice cubes from the tray into his hands, He then walked back over to jade.

"Are you gonna but those down her back?"

"Nope." Dave rolled Jade over so she was face up and started placing them carefully on her face. One on her forehead, two for each cheek, one in her chest and down her shirt. John couldn't help but start snickering.

"Does she fall asleep her a lot?"

"Yup, I've told her not to let me catch her sleeping , but she doesn't seems to listen." Dave shrugged, stood up, and walked back over to john. "She'll feel it soon I'm sure, in the mean time let me tell you the rules if the fridge and pot. In the fridge if your name isn't on it, I will eat it. For the pot if you pour the last cup make more or I'll hunt you down." Dave pointed at John, who for whatever reason found Dave's threats as jokes to take seriously. They both turned their heads when they heard a soft moan, and some mumbled swear words.

"What the..." Jade sat up quickly and started franticly getting cubes out of her shirt after the ones on her face slid off. John was holding back his laughter while Dave remained silent with only a smirk.

"Good afternoon Jade." Dave drawled. Jades calm sleeping face was now covered in anger.

"Dave! What the hell!?" She stood up and tugged at her shirt.

"Sorry but I've warned you, you sleep, I creep. Just be glad I have the decency not to actually creep. I mean imagine if I was a perv, you're like a literal rock when you sleep. To a perv that's like an invitation." Dave shoved his hands on his pocket.

"We all know you're a perv Dave, just not that kind of perv." She scowled at him and glanced at John while she was talking. "And boy is it showing today..." She rolled her eyes.

"Okay Gem you got me, Jade this is John Egbert. He's the new guy as you most likely already realized."

"Hey." John waved meekly, somehow his earlier excitement had melted away. Jade crawled over the couch and held out her hand to him.

"Nice to meet you john, I look forward to working with you. I'll probably teach you how to use the mixer since he just pretends he can use it."

"When I touch that thing it sings like a delicate lady, when I use my fingers I use them right." Dave flexed his fingers.

"Oh my, I don't think you actually use them on delicate 'ladies'..." Jade was a little red in the face and Daves face might have also got some colour at her remark.

"Anyway jade how in the world did you get back here? I know I got here before you and I was sitting by the entrance."

"I used the emergency exit."

"Why?" Daves eyebrow shot up.

"Because I wanted to test if it worked from the outside, it didn't ring so so I guess it doesn't, we she should see if Sollux can fix that."

"They don't need to beep from the outside, Jade .Also how did you even open it from the outside?" Dave shook his head.

"Does that matter?"

"Ummm okay enough of this... John do have any questions on what you're doing?" Dave and Jade both turned to him. John briefly wondered if they were dating, they seemed like they could be.

"Well umm I don't know how to work that board and I don't know my hours or well anything really work related..." John scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh yeah...forgot about that."

"Good job Dave, this is why we never let you give orientations. Follow me John I'll get you started, Dave stay here and drink some more coffee."

"Sure thing." Dave was already pouring a cup. Jade and John headed back towards the lobby but stopped next to a door that was identical to Dave's studio. Jade unlocked the door and it was a recording studio, but not covered in trash.

"Is this yours?"

"Kinda I just use it to get some quiet time away from Dave and Rose." She wiped off some dust on the mixer.

"Rose?" John cocked his head.

"Man Dave is really bad at this... Rose is the buildings manager, boss if you will. She's usually here around this time but I guess she had something to do."

"Huh, what's she like?"

"Hmm it's hard to describe Rose, I guess fancy yet not fancy. Like if you took a fancy person then gave them the weirdest hobbies and humor." Jade smiled and pulled two chairs up to the desk with a sound board on it.

"What kind of hobbies does she do?" John asked as he sat down on a chair.

"Well, this isn't too weird but she like to knit. Last Christmas she made me a sock, not two just one. She also made Dave this red hat that was like a sock with a large hole for his face to peek out. He wore it the entire party."

"Huh... Anything else?" John couldn't help but smile at the thought of Dave in a ski mask like hat.

"She likes to write wizard fanfiction and game guides." She shrugged a bit. "She also likes occult things, like seances, rituals, and stuff like that."

"Seances?" John lifted his eye brow.

"Yup, tried to get Dave and I to help her one day, I was all for it, but she needed three people and Dave told her that we'd be getting possessed alone."

"Does Dave have any weird things about him like that?" John hoped to maybe learn more about his idol.

"Well... Daves kinda a closed person. I've been working here for almost a year and all I can tell you us that he loves apple juice and has an unhealthy obsession with ironic things. Also coffee, he loves coffee, but only if there's a pound of sugar in it." Jade shook her head. "Dave's quite the elusive person, you can ask him a question about his family and then suddenly you're talking about how if every person left their parents at 12 years old there would be a lot less crimes. Which makes absolutely no sense." She shrugged again.

"Weird..." John laughed quietly, he wondered if that was true. Does Dave really avoid questions like that? Jade scooted her chair closer to him.

"So enough talking about those weirdos, we gotta get you trained in the way of knobs and sliders!" John and jade spent the next two hours fooling around with the sound board. They became good friends soon enough. John told her about his old job at a clothes shop, his ass of a boss, and his fathers bakery. Jade talked about her first day working when Dave got trapped in a closet and they had to call the fire department. She also mentioned a bit about her over protective dog and her collectable squid plushies, John doubted that they were actually collectable. After that John said goodbye to Dave, who had drank an entire pot of coffee, and headed home. Today was a amazing first day, he thought to himself. He was pretty sure he scored some points with Dave, he got some CDs, and became good friends with Jade. Though he had yet to meet his boss Rose, he hoped that she as laid back as Jade described her. John just hoped that he could keep his cool and not get fired again.


	4. Chapter 4

"There we go, Mr. clean himself couldn't have done any better." Dave looked around his newly cleaned studio. He had spent the last 4 hours cleaning the awful room. 5 trash bags later it was spic and span, though he'd have to get some air freshener later from the store. Dave walked out of the studio and headed towards the office. He had some papers he needed John to sign, most of them were liability forms and one sheet courtesy of Sollux that says that whatever tech John breaks he'll pay for fully. Sollux treated the tech here like his children... that guy is so weird and really good at video games. Dave had yet to beat him in one single game, someday he will though. After retrieving the papers he walked through the lobby just in time to see John talking to Jade at the secretaries desk.

"You're a secretary?" John gave her a weird look.

"Yup! Did I forget to mention that? I suppose its not that important, but I feel like it should've come up some where..." Jade smiled sheepily, John gave her his usual bright smile.

"Yo, newbie, your flirting can wait a few minutes. I have things for you to look at." Dave announced his presence with all the grace and poise he could muster. John turned red and glared at Dave who, in response to that incredibly cute expression, turned around and waved at john to follow him.

"We weren't flirting! Just talking whats wrong with that?" John followed a step behind the blonde. They turned in to the room were Johns interview was held, Dave had also taken an hour to tidy this room up too.

"Yeah whatever," Dave sat down in the chair behind the desk and john took the seat in front of it.

"I have some papers you need to sign, this place has some... well frequent accidents, to put it lightly. So Rose needs you to sign these liability stuff." He pushed about 5 papers torward John.

John picked up the first one and looked it up and down, "You guys don't have insurance?" He was a little worried about what he got himself into.

"Nope! So if you get injured here, try to keep it minor, but we do have a friend thats a doctor so she'd help a little." Dave watched as John read through the other papers.

"This last one... 'Whatever is broken will be shoved up the perpetrators ass.' Umm..." John looked up with a worried expression.

"Most of that is just threats, our tech guy treats the stuff here like his children, chances are you won't break anything and you'll barely see him. So just sign it." John read through all the papers again. Man this guy thorough, whats he looking for? Dave yawned and looked at the clock, 11:40. It was almost time for lunch, Dave had a brilliant idea. Lunch date. Of course it'd only be a date in his mind, he wouldn't say it out loud, lest he scare John off too early. John finally signs the papers and Dave prepared to give say his proposal.

"So you were hiding back here, I should have known that." A firm female voice came from the door. Both boys turned to see a women with short blonde hair, a long flowing black skirt and a dark purple t-shirt. Her lips were pitch black and her eyes were lined with a thick black line, a pure gothic beauty. "I see you are going over the policies with our new hire, hello John Egbert I'm Rose. I'm the manager here as I'm sure Dave has told you." Rose did a little bow. Instead of responding to her John just stared at her. Dave's stomach did something weird, he didn't like this. Not one bit.

"Yo, John you gonna start drooling?" Daves voice was a bit sharper then he intended.

"Uh sorry! I just well... umm no Dave didn't really mention you, but um Jade did!" John turned pink and tried to look every where except at Rose.

"Good job Dave, you are the best we have." Rose smirked a bit, her voice had heavy sarcasm. She turned her attention back to the flustered mess of dark hair. "Welcome to my family, I sincerely hope you'll enjoy it here." Rose gave a small smile to John, who risked a glance at her.

"Um thank you... I hope so too..."

"Dave if you wouldn't mind do you think I could talk to Mr. Egbert alone?" Rose stepped to the side and motioned to the door. Daves stomach was once again throwing a fit, but if he refused... well its simple, he just couldn't refuse. He silently stood up and walked out the door, he raised his eyebrow at Rose and she nodded at him. This was a silent conversation between them.

Dave- What are you doing?

Rose- Relax, nothing to worry about

The door was shut and Dave was left on the out side, without a clue as too what that women was saying to John. He'd never known Rose to be forward with men, actually he'd never seen her do anything with men besides turn them down, but for some reason this was tearing him apart. The way John was staring, how Rose reacted, and now them alone in a sound proof room. He took a shaky breath and tried to calm himself down.

"Bye Rose! Oh! and I'll try my best." John was all smiles and practicly glowing as he opened the door. Dave stood up straight and tried to look like he was simply, impatient.

"John wanna go out to lunch with me? I'm starving." Dave was pretty sure he pulled off the relaxed kinda impatient tone in his voice.

John's smiled went down a bit and he cocked his head. "You want to go out to lunch? Isn't there a fridge here?"

"Yeah, but I didn't bring anything and everything in there has a name on it. So I'm going out."

"Ummm yeah, I guess I'll go with you."

"Sweet, it'll be my treat." Dave turned and started walking down the hall way toward the door.

"You don't have to do that I can pay for myself!" John jogged over to Dave and walked quickly to keep up with Dave.

"Consider it a welcome meal."

"I can pay for myself really... it's okay."

"Where are you two going and what's Dave being stubborn about?" Jade leaned over her desk and tipped her head.

"We're going to lunch-"

"And he's paying for me." John finished Dave's sentence.

"Ah..." Jade gave Dave a smirk and sat down straight in her chair. "Have fun and stay away from dark alleys" Jade smiled brightly and waved as the two boys left, Dave held the door open for John.

"So where are we going?"

"A little restaurant that my friend works at."

"Okay... whats the name of it?"

"Drunk Kitten."

"We're going to a bar?" John stopped walking and gave Dave a disbelieving look.

"No! I promise, my relative owns it. The name is an inside joke with with the co-owner." Dave turned to look at John.

"Sooo, you're not planning on drinking at noon?"

"Maybe just a few drinks, they make great bloody mary." Dave smirked and continued walking.

"So, it is a bar?"

"Half-restaurant half- bar, so it'll be alright."

"You better not get drunk, I will not carry you back."

"Relax, it takes a lot more than one Bloody Mary to make me pass out, trust me." Dave's tone of voice went off a bit. He thought about all those nights he sat in that bar while the world spun in an awful dizzy mix. All the times he had had to be carried out, dragged out, and once taken on a gurney. In short he'd spent way to much time there and should, in reality, hate it, but the bar was kinda like a part of him. Familiar and almost like home, it didn't really help that his little brother worked there, and pretty much owned it, with his make-shift aunt.

"Do you go there often?" John, in spite all of his usual ditsyness, seemed to notice the difference in Daves voice.

"Not as much I should, seriously, their Mary is like nothing you've ever tasted." They rounded a corner and the bar came in to view. As part of the line of buildings the bar was strangely out of place. There was a clear line of slightly faded hot pink paint, where one shop ended and the bar began. Dave could clearly remember the argument his Aunt had with the Town Council about the paint, They called it 'tacky and unneeded' she called it, and he quotes 'sill... Stygl...stylin...stylish' the council quickly stopped trying to argue with the women when they realized she was currently, shit-faced drunk. The sign above the door looked like it was haphazardly tacked on with card board, Dave knew, without ever asking, that this was his little bros doing. No doubt he thought the signs design was 'ironic' and Dave agreed with this wholeheartedly.

"Wow that's... quite the paint job..." They stopped in front of the bar with the street between them.

"Yup." Dave jay-walked across the road when he saw the coast was clear, John jogged across the street in front of Dave who continued to walk across.

"You know when you jay-walk, it doesn't actually mean you have to walk."

"What you expected me to run across an empty street? Sorry, but that ain't happening." Dave hopped on top of the curb and led the way through the bar doors. The bell above the door announced their entrance and a bobbed blonde head popped up from a bar counter.

"Daveeey!" The blonde haired women ran out from behind the counter and tackled Dave.

"Roxy! Agh! Get off of me..." Dave slammed to the ground and his hands flew up to keep his glasses on.

"Aww why? Davvey you haben't coome here un shooo looonnng... we missid youu" Roxy hugged Daves neck.

"I know I know I'm sorry, now, off." Dave got a grip on her shoulders and pryed her off his neck, she now took notice of ,the very nervous, John backed against the door frame.

"Oh hello there cutiie hope I didn't shcare ya, dis heres my stuuborn wittle nephew." Roxy tried to go back to hugging the pinned man beneath her but his arm were still keeping her away.

"Roxy get off." Dave sounded a little more commanding.

"Fine mr grumpy pants... humpf." She stood up and fixed her sleeveless purple dress.

"Um hi..." John waved a bit meekily.

"John meet my alcoholic aunt, Roxy Lalonde." Dave stumbled up and brushed off his backside.

"I am nut an alocohelig alcohonik...al-co-hol-lic... I am a coneesi...conessuuer..."

"Yeah whatever, Wheres Hal?" Dave grabbed a few menus from the host desk.

"He's in the bath room, though god knows what he's doin in der..." Roxy giggled to herself and Dave quickly hit her arm, lightly of course. Roxy handed Dave two menus after she wrestled them out of a cabinet

"Tell him that I'm here when he gets back," Dave turned to walk towards the sitting area, "Oh and can you get us two BM's?"

"Sure thang Davey and Johnny." Roxy walked back to the bar and started mixing the drinks.

"She's rather interesting..." John scratched the back of his head as he followed Dave to a booth.

"Yeah, shes a lot better when she sobers down." Dave slid into a booth near the back of the restaurant.

"Huh, you said she's an alcoholic?" John slid into the seat across the table.

"To a degree yeah, though she knows how to do it without killing herself so no one really minds it."

"She still should get help though... I mean what if she hurts herself?" John looked down at the table.

"John, Roxy's fine. She runs a bar and in all honesty she seems to run it better drunk, so lets get off this topic. What about your fam what do they do?"

"My family? Well umm my dad runs a bakery, my mother left when I was young, one of my cousins disappeared on his cruise, and my other cousin works with my dad at the bakery."

"Woah, lost me at bakery. Your father runs a bakery?"

"Mhm it's on the other side of town, he gets pretty good business. Chances are you've been there before. Jokers Goodies, weird name I know." John rolled his eyes.

"Holy shit that place is great! The cup cakes there are just... man they are like a tiny rave on your tongue and the cops are just about to knock on the door because the rave is just that ridiculous."

"Yeah, I've been told that before, though it was never described quite like that..." John giggled a bit. Dave had to look out the window because that giggle was just way too adorable.

"Dave you got to come by more often, It seems like I haven't seen you in forever!" A boy with pure with hair and odd triangle shades pushed Dave over and sat next to him in the booth.

"Hal, bro be careful I'm precious cargo." Dave rubbed his shoulder where he was shoved.

"Yeah, whatever who's this?" Hal looked John up and down.

"I'm John Egbert, hi!" Johns energy seemed to be coming back, Dave was glad. He wasn't a big fan of the calm and shy John.

"I'm Hal Strider nice meet you, there's a 100% chance that you are extremely cute." Hal winked at John. "If you see me hitting on some lady don't ruin my game K?" Hal smirked.

"Ha ha ha alright." John laughed a bit, turning pretty red.

"Hal you're 16 you have like exactly zero game."

"No, I have all the game, Dave, You just never see it cause you scare off all the chicks." Hal stuck his tongue out at Dave.

"What ever man go see if Roxy passed out, I asked her for bloody marys a while ago and, well, I'm still completely sober."

"If she is, you're helping me drag her to the bathroom." Hal jogged over to the bar, leaving them alone.

"Is his hair naturally white?" John asked.

"Yup, he's pretty cool like that, shit I should've told him what we wanted... wait what do you want?" Dave hadn't even open his menu, he knew it by heart.

"Umm well what are you getting?" Johns eyes skimmed the inside of the menu.

"I'm gettin some cheesy fries." Dave watched Johns perfect blues eye dart around, reading all the words.

"Isn't that just an appetizer?" John looked up at Dave.

"I don't eat that much usually, so all I can really get are appetizers." Dave shrugged and John put the menu down.

"Alright I'm gonna get a BLT." John seemed pretty proud of himself.

"Heh, what are you a health nut?"

"No! I just love bacon, plus it does sound good."

"If you were a health nut, we couldn't be friends cause I'd be too big of a bad influence on you." Dave smiled a bit.

"Oh really? How would you be a bad influence?"

"Dude I'm gonna order fried sticks of potato smothered in processed, melted, and salted cheese."

"Touche..."

"Shes alive!" Hal had come back to table.

"Thats good, before I forget again, we'd like some grub." Dave gathered the two menus and gave them to Hal.

"Oh joy, I actually have to work... what do you delinquents need?" Hal took out a small note pad.

"My usual and a BLT for him."

"I can order for myself you know!" John was once again bright red. Dave smirked at Hal and he smiled back, unbeknownst to John the two brothers shared a silent conversation that went something like this.

Hal- "You trying to score?"

Dave- "A bit more than that, but yes."

Hal- "Sweet, I wish you the best of luck with the blue eyed babe." With that Hal left and whispered something to Roxy who in turn giggled. Dave knew he was going to get so much shit for this later.

"I know you can John, but I wanted to order for you because I can." Dave smiled semi-sweetly at John.

"If you keep this up, people are going to think this is a date." John pouted and slid down in his seat a little. Dave was a bit shocked at this, he ran over some quick thoughts in his head. If John was gay would he say that? Would John even think about that if he wasn't gay? Or is he really straight and doesn't want to be seen as gay... A small panic attack was brewing inside Dave, he was very thankful to his glasses for hiding his panic.

'Im happy~ I'm feelin sad I got sunshine~ in bag I'm useless~ but not for long-'

"Ach! Umm one sec I gotta take this..." Dave shoved his hand into his pocket and answered his phone. In all honesty he was greatful for the distraction.

"Douchebag, plans have changed movie night is tonight." Karkats lovely voice commanded from the speaker.

"Great greeting as always Karkles, but I can't do it tonight."

"Oh shit really? Too busy talking to your two fucking listeners? I got forced into a signing tomorrow and I will have exactly no fucking time to watch shitty movies with your dumb ass."

"We both know that the movies are only shitty when you choose them and I have three listeners, but anyway I guess I can cancel my important plans for you. I was gonna go see my grandma and maybe knit a few sweaters with her, but I guess you are more important."

"Damn right I am, so 7?"

"7." Karkat hung up on Dave, as per usual. "Sorry about that, my friend likes to call at the worst of times."

"Who... was that?" John was staring at Dave with huge eyes, Dave remembered that John had borrowed an album of Karkats from him. John was obviously a fan of Karkats.

"Well I think you already have a hunch of who it was but I'll confirm your thoughts, it was Karkat Vantas." Dave about burst into laughter as Johns eyes got even bigger.

"I-I knew that you two talked, but I though it was just business stuff, are you guys actually friends!?"

"Karkat and I have and been friends for years, I warn you though he's as bitchy in real life as he is in his songs."

"Here you go and I promise that your drinks have only a few ruffies in them." Hal placed the food and bloody marys in front of the two men. Dave started on his bloody mary right away.

"Thanks." Dave and John said in unison.

"So are you and Karkat hanging out tonight?" John asked as he took a large bite out of his sandwich.

"Yup, when ever he's in town we do a movie night, they usually suck though because his taste in movies is the worst."

"Heh, what did you guys watch last time?"

"The proposal, It was an awful chick flick and I felt my man hood be stolen away from me as he cooed and awed next to me."

"Wow... how could you not like that movie? I thought it was pretty good."

"John, you're obviously gay, you'd have to be to even consider it a decent movie." Dave said this light heartedly as he waved Hal over to pay. Out of the corner of his eye he saw John get flushed as his eyes darted left and right.

"I just thought it wasn't too bad... I'm not like that or anything..." John looked away. They were quiet for a while as they ate, Dave was happy to see John take sips from the bloody mary, Roxy usually didn't put too much vodka in it so Dave was pretty amused to see John squint his eyes at the drink. John drank half of the glass though and Dave completely drained his. When they were finished Hal brought the bill and Dave handed him a credit card before John could object.

"Thanks Hal, we'll hopefully be back soonish."

"I could have paid too you know." John got up from the booth just as Dave did.

"I know, but I didn't want you too." Dave waved to Roxy as she poured herself a martini. John did a half wave, Dave also found that cute. He was beginning to find everything about John cute.

"Man Dave you really are making this seem like a date..." They walked out the door, Dave holding the door open for John.

"I gotta head home and fix up my apartment, tell Rose it's Karkat, and I hope you enjoyed your date with Dave Strider." With that Dave turned and walked the opposite way of the studio, because he lived that way, _not_ just because he wanted to seem cool. As Dave walked down the sidewalk he ducked into an alley and poked his head out to see that John was gone, because Dave's apartment _was_ in the direction of the studio, Dave was actually an _idiot_. An idiot who needed to get home to hide any of his possible rom-coms. An _idiot_ who will also most likely regret saying that last sentence to the possibly straight John. Dave the _idiot_ walked somberly back to his apartment, this_ idiot_ needed to think about how screwed he may be.


	5. Chapter 5

Leaving working early just to look cool in front of John probably wasn't the best decision. Dave didn't really care though, Rose could use a recording and John could get used to everything. Looking at the clock it was only 2, he really was an idiot. He had 5 hours to kill until Karkat came. He plopped on his couch and sighed, he only needed about 20 minutes to Karkat proof his apartment. He decided that he should probably start now, even if he did have too much time. He began to sort through his movies and hid whatever movies he hated or knew would make Karkat emotional. He could still remember when Karkat made him watch the Notebook, Karkat got pissed at him for asking why he was crying and then the tiny hurricane locked himself in Daves room and slept in there. After shoving the small box of movies in the ceiling, Dave went through the kitchen and hid all the knives. This was the usual procedure, Karkat was, to put it lightly, a very touchy person. One small thing could set him off and he'd go ballistic. Of course when Karkat wasn't going insane, he was one of the best people Dave ever knew. Dave walked up stairs to his bedroom and picked up all the clothes and random trash. The Karkat proofing was now done. The movies were gone, knives were gone, and his room was picked up. This only took about a hour, longer than usual. He now had 4 hours to kill. Dave decided this called for a nap, it was always a good idea to rest up before dealing with Karkat. Dave took off his glasses, crawled into his bed, and closed his eyes. He fell asleep thinking of the blue eyed smile of John Egbert.

"Hey douche bucket! What the hell are you doing sleeping at 7?" Dave shot up at the sound of Karkats voice and ended up smacking into Karkats forehead. After a few confused seconds, Dave realized that Karkat was on top of him.

"Ow shit, what the hell are you doing sitting on me?" Dave rubbed his fore head, glaring at the small person on top of him.

"Well, I yelled from the stairs, no answer. Then I yelled at you from your door, you didn't even fucking move. Then I tried shaking you, you just moaned. So then I got on top of you and yelled in your ear, then you gave me a god damn concussion." Karkats glare was perfected over the years and could single handedly kill a small bird. Right now that glare was turned up on full blast, it must have been bad day.

"Fair enough I guess, can you get off me?" Dave propped himself up on his elbows.

"Yeah, yeah, god you sleep like a deaf cat. I should have took your mattress out to a river." Karkat got up and brushed himself off. He was wearing a baggy sweat shirt and black skinny jeans, his black hair looked like a tornado had styled it. This was usual for Karkat he could look relaxed yet still somehow put together. This was most likely due to his manager Kanaya, She was a literal fashion queen. When she was 16, she shop lifted half of a store simply because 'The store would have been more fashionable with out those rags clouding up the air of the beautiful clothing.' This was her exact reason. Karkat had told him that , even though he had sworn to Kanaya he wouldn't tell anyone.

"It's not my fault that I enjoy sleeping." Dave slowly pushed the covers back and blinked away the feeling of sleep. His glasses laid on his end table neatly folded, he debated on putting them on or not.

"Come on Strider, we have an AWESOME movie to watch." Karkat snatched the sun glasses and strolled out of the room down stairs.

Dave smiled a bit, he had missed Karkat. "I thought I was choosing the movie." He left his room and lazily walked down the stairs. Karkat was in the kitchen making some pop corn, he had brought a plastic bag filled with movies that was thrown next to the couch.

"The movie you chose would be some dumb action movie and those are just eye bleedingly awful." Karkat sat on the counter opposite of the microwave, his legs were swinging back and forth.

"Nah man you just have really bad taste in movies." Dave grabbed a bowl and some seasoning for the pop corn.

"Fuck you strider, my movies are always mind numbingly awesome."

"What ever Vantas." The microwave went off and Dave put the pop corn in to the bowl.

"You know I'm right," Karkat hopped off the counter and stood next to Dave, he started sprinkling the seasonings on.

"Nope, you are just a sad sad little person." Dave smirked down at Karkat who was about 5 inches shorter than Dave, he loved to remind Karkat off this.

"Oh shut the hell up before I find something sharp to cut your lips off!"

"Okay okay, put your fangs away." Dave laughed lightly. "So how have you been?"

"Meh, not bad, but its getting too fucking hard to just walk out of my stupid hotel." Karkat finished with the seasonings. Dave picked up the bowl and they moved to the living room where Karkat grabbed the movie bag.

"That sucks man, have you tried wigs? I'd love to see you as a blonde." Dave threw a piece of pop corn in his mouth.

"Like hell am I going to go out in some dumb disguise, fuck that and fuck you Dave for even thinking about that." Karkat dumped the bag on to the coffee table. It suddenly dawned on Dave that his vision was three shades lighter, he had forgotten about his glasses.

"Before I forget, where did you put my glasses?" Dave pointed to his naked face.

"They are somewhere safeish don't you worry your nooksniffing head about it, you look way fucking better without those damn things anyway." Karkat knelt down to the coffee table and started organizing the movies. This was a calm argument that they always had, Karkat thinks he looks good without them and Dave brushes him off.

"Whatever Karkles its not about looking better, it's about looking ironic." This of course was a lie and Karkat knew it. Long ago when they were teenagers, they had gotten drunk, very drunk. Dave had gotten emotional and ended up pouring his heart out to Karkat. He told Karkat the reason of the glasses. His eyes. His bright red awful and un-natural eyes. People usually called him a freak and then never talk to him again. Dave had learned that with his past attempts at girlfriends and boyfriends. Karkat however, didn't freak out. Karkat found it awesome, this made their friendship even better and made Dave cherish his angry little buddy.

"I'm not giving you your glasses till the movie's over, now choose a movie." Karkat moved to sit on the couch next to Dave while he looked over the selection of rom-coms.

"These are all awful." Dave gave Karkat a bored look.

"You dick fuck, these are all the best movies in my collection!"

"Yeah, well your collection needs to be burned." Dave picked up What Women Want.

"Ooo that's a great one." Karkat was staring at the CD case like it was a precious stone and Dave was going to break it.

"I guess we can watch this one it doesn't look too painful." Dave looked at the actors, Mel Gibson was always good in his opinion.

"That its decided! Make one complaint and I'll fucking bash your teeth in out on the curb." Karkat snatched the case from Daves hands and knelt down near the dvd player, he slid the dvd in and then stood up in a jerky motion. Karkat jumped over the coffee table and landed on the couch perfectly next Dave.

"I'd give you a ten for that acrobatic stunt, but the starting stance wasn't the best."

"Shut your nook sniffer and enjoy this piece of classic cultural media." Karkat leaned in on Daves side and gently laid his head on Daves shoulder. This was normal, it didn't really mean anything. This is what happened on every movie night, Karkat would always end up on Daves shoulder and Dave would lay his arm lightly across Karkats shoulders. The movie went on and Dave could hear Karkat grumble every once in while, usually about how this was a classic 'fucking' moment. Dave had to stifle a few laughs as Mel waxed his legs and stumbled around in panty hoses. Dave also giggled a bit when Helen Hunt chastised herself for checking out Mel. The movie came to an end and Karkat was tearing up a bit as sat up straight. "Ha! It wasn't as awful as you thought it was going to be."

"I'll admit it wasn't terrible, but I could have done with out all the mushy gushy crap."

"That mushy gushy 'crap' is what makes it so fucking good, you just don't have heart to enjoy it with."

"My heart exists it's just too awesome for that. You see when that stuff comes to my heart, my hearts just like 'Dude no need for that shit, here have a beer and we'll go watch some guy break a chair on another guys back."

"You have no culture Dave."

"I do too."

"No you fucking don't" Karkat leaned in closer to Dave.

"But Karcrab, I do."

"Strider you have an un-naturaly low level of culture." He leaned in a bit more.

"All of the culture is mine." Dave noticed a bit too late that Karkat was getting dangerously close.

"Dave, you have no god damn fucking culture." Karkat closed the final inch of space and kissed Dave. Daves carmine eyes went wide open at the collision, he couldn't move an inch with the panic flowing through him. His blood had turned ice cold inside his veins. Karkat, his best friend for years, was kissing him. Karkats small hands found their way to Daves shoulders and pushed him back, Dave's head landed on the arm of the couch. Karkat's lips moved against his, Dave couldn't bring himself to kiss back, he had never even thought of Karkat like this. He felt Karkat stop and pull back, Karkats eyes slowly opened. Grey met panicked red. "Oh shit."

"Karkat... I..." Dave tried to talk, but his cool was gone. His voice was too shaky to use, his glasses were gone he nothing even remotely in himself.

"Shit shit Dave, I'm sorry. Fuck fuck fuck..." Karkat launched himself to the other side of the couch. Even in the darkened room Dave could see that Karkat was bright red and his eyes darted everywhere but Dave. Karkat's hands were in his own hair pulling it every which way. Karkat took a glance at Dave, looked away, then stood up stiffly. He continued chanting swear words and, without sparing another glance at Dave, Karkat slammed the door and was gone.

Dave couldn't move a muscle and just stayed laying on his couch.

His brain was too shocked to think of anything else to say execpt "Fuck."


	6. Chapter 6

"John, I sincerely apologize, but before you get any ideas I must inform you, I am only attracted to women and have a significant other." Rose shut the wooden door to the office, leaned on it, and spoke calmly to a red faced and wide eyed John.

"Ah! Um.. I uh... thats not exactly... w-what I was thinking about... Wait... your gay?" Somehow John eyes managed to get even bigger.

"Yes, I truly hope you are okay with that." Roses cheeks turned a bit, well, rosey.

"O-of course! I mean umm I am too..." John turned rosey as well.

"You are? Thats lovely." Rose beamed at him. "So why are you blushing so hard at me then?"

"Well just cause I'm gay, t-that doesn't mean I don't think you're really pretty." John studied the floor, it was gray carpet with small bits of colour dotted through out it, very interesting obviously.

"Why thank you John, I think you're quite cute." Rose smiled gently at him.

"Thank you, I just hope Dave thinks that too." John slapped his hand over his mouth and stared at Rose hoping to god she didn't hear him.

"So you have crush on Dave? How cute, I'm not sure of his orientation, but I've never actually seen him on a date with a girl before." Rose put her finger to her mouth thoughtfully. "I think you have a big chance with him, if he is indeed on that side of the fence."

"You really think so?"

"He is my cousin after all, I would hope I know him that well. Speaking of him, he's quite impatient so you should get back to him. I wish you the best of luck." She smiled again and opened the door.

"Bye Rose! Oh! and I'll try my best." John felt like he was going explode with happiness. Dave shoved himself off the wall and for a second John thought he looked worried. He decided it was his imagination.

"John, wanna go to lunch with me? I'm starving." Dave sounded annoyed, John thought about whether or not he had done anything to upset Dave. He couldn't think of anything though, was he pissed because John talked to Rose? Why would he be upset over that? He tried to shake this confusion out of his head.

"You want to go out for lunch? Isn't there a fridge here?" John cocked his head to the side.

"Yeah, but I didn't bring anything and everything in there has a name on it. So I'm going out."

"Ummm yeah I guess I'll go with you." This was kinda an odd request right? Or was John just over thinking it?

"Sweet, It'll be my treat." Dave started walking down the hallway towards the lobby. Dave's going to pay for him? That sounds almost like a date... No, no matter what Rose said Dave was most likely not gay and he most certainly wasn't asking John out on an actually date.

Approximately 2 hours and one date later...

"I gotta head home and fix up my apartment, tell Rose it's Karkat, and I hope you enjoyed your date with Dave Strider." Dave turned his back on a very flustered, bucked toothed, blind, black haired boy. **DID** 'I hope you enjoyed your date with Dave Strider.' **HE** 'Your date with Dave Strider.' **REALLY** 'Date with Dave Strider' SAY '**Date**' John was about to pass out, too much blood had run to his face as he watched Dave turn a corner. His knees were about to give in, he knew he was going to fall over. Just as they gave away, pale feminine arms shot out from the bar and steadied John.

"woah der, I didn't even put even any alcohols in that bloody murry you can't be that drink." Roxy's slurring voice sounded. John looked over and she was standing there with one foot keeping the bar door open, one foot firmly behind him, an arm on his back, and another pulling on the collar of his shirt. For a drunk woman she was very agile.

"I-I'm not drunk." John steadied himself. _Wait what did she say about the bloody mary?_

"You should come in an rest, get churself calmed down." She gave him a goofy smile and pulled him inside the restaurant. John had no choice, but to obey her pulling since he still wasn't in a good frame of mind. The word date was still fluttering in his mind. She sat him down in a booth a few feet from the door.

"Hey cutie, where's Dave?" Hal came from out of the kitchen and looked out the front door.

"He uh, he left." John looked down to his feet.

"What'dya mean he left, Davey usually doesn't date and ditch." Roxy plopped herself across from John in the booth. "Dish."

"Dish?" John cocked his head to the side.

Hal slid in next to Roxy, "It seems that Roxy wants you to tell her what happened, I'd like to know too. so dish." Hal pushed his triangle glasses up.

"Ummm it's really not that interesting." John rubbed the back of his neck, even if he felt a little awkward with these guys, he had to admit they had helped him calm down a little bit.

"Anythin dealin with our Davey is interysting to us." Roxy said very matter of factly.

"Come on dude, dish it." Hal put his head in his hand.

"Uh... umm well I... Please don't tell Dave! But I really like him and well he-"

"Did he bring you on a date and then dump you?" Hal exclaimed in disbelief.

"Huh? No, no he didn't, you see I umm didn't know... It was a um date." John scratched the back of his head and looked down.

"How could chu nut know, it was purty obvious." Roxy waggled her eye brows. John wasn't too sure why she did that, he thought it was really kinda creepy.

"I just didn't think he'd actually like me back... I mean I'm well..."

"Hell, you mean you're sexeh as hell? I mean if you wur a few years elder I would take you to teh back and-"

"Roxy, it seems you're scaring me and him. I think you're too drunk for a real conversation, leave this to me." Hal scooted out of the booth to let Roxy slide out. She pouted at him, but eventually gave in. The intoxicated blonde slid over and; surprisingly, she walked with out stumbling;and went in to the kitchen. John briefly wondered if there was actually anyone in the kitchen and how this place stayed in business. So far he had not seen a single customer or any other employees.

"Alright Johnny boy, So what's wrong with Dave saying it was a date?" Hal weaved his fingers together and placed his chin on top of them, John remembered Dave doing the same thing at some point of time.

"Well... I never figured he'd actually like me like that..." John looked out the window to his right. He had images of himself and Dave together as a couple playing like a slide show of heaven in his head.

"Hmmm... well I feel like I should tell you what I think, just to spare you hurt feelings later in time." Hal gave John a pitied look.

"What do you mean?" The slide show of heaven burnt up like an old film reel.

"I think Dave is just playing with you, he likes to do that." The look of pity was stronger now.

"P- playing with me?"

"Yup, he's done this with a few people. Trust me, I'm his little brother I know his games." Hal got up from the booth and crouched near Johns seat. "I'm sorry that he did this, I hope you'll still be friends with him, he needs them." Hal then got and left. John sat in the booth and slowly died inside. He just stared ahead. He didn't want to believe Hal, but he had no reason to not believe him. A brother was more knowledgeable than a cousin right? Hal most likely knew Dave better than Rose... John still wanted to think that Dave might like him, but then again why would some one as cool as Dave like him? It was pretty unlikely, now that he though about. He really didn't even have a chance with Dave and he was an idiot for even hoping. John sighed and slid out of the booth. He checked the time, he had to get back to the studio. What did Dave want him to tell Rose? Something about Karkat, yeah it was about Karkat. John pulled the doors open and stepped out. He wondered briefly if Dave and Karkat were dating, it would make sense, they seemed close enough. John sighed again, he just wanted to curl up, cry on his bed, and cuddle with his lizard plushie. Casey loved him unconditionally. John walked across the street and continued back to the studio.

When John reached the studio he noticed an odd black Chevy in the parking lot. It hadn't been there before, briefly he forgot about his relationship drama and jogged to investigate this new development. He reached the doors and noticed that the reception desk, lacked a receptionist.

"Theriously how in jethuth fuck did you do thith!" A very upset voice with a lisp echoed from a recording room. John was now very distracted from his earlier problems. He hurried down to the source of the voice.

"Solly please calm down, no need to yell. She didn't mean to do anything." A gentle happy voice was heard just as John turned into the full room. A man with oddly gelled hair hunched over a sound board; a girl with long and thick auburn hair rubbed his back and smiled at the man; Jade leaned in a corner looking guilty; and Rose sat on a chair next to her staring worriedly at the man. The girl was the first to notice john.

"Hi! I'm Aradia, you must be the newest hire." Aradia beamed at John and held her hand out. John had just barely touched her hand when she pulled him into a hug.

"Uh hi Aradia." John hugged her back and when she pulled back he have her a small smile.

"Hi John..." Jade waved meekly.

"Hello John" Rose smiled at him.

"Hey, guys." John smiled them.

"Solly say hi." Aradia lightly hit the hunched back of the man.

"Hey." He mumbled.

"Sorry he's not in a good mood, this is Sollux." She motioned to him.

"Hi, Sollux, so you're the tech guy?" John asked carefully.

"Yup, fuck it I'll try to fith it. " sollux said in a bored tone.

"So what's broken?" John leaned on the wall next to Jade, the room was pretty cramped he noticed.

"That perthon in the corner managed to make it tho the thound board, well doethn't make thoundth." Sollux grumbled as he twisted a screwdriver into some screws.

"I'm sorry sollux I didn't mean to break it, I don't even know how I broke it..."Jade slid down the wall and crouched with her head in her hands.

"Jutht thut up and let me fith thith thit you made before I do an acrobatic thunt on to your little face." Sollux pointed at Jade and glared before turning back to unscrew the sound board more.

"Solly what have I told you about threats? They are rude and...?" Aradia nudged him to complete her sentence.

"They make people not want to talk to me..." Sollux replied in a monotone voice, as if he had heard it a thousand times.

"Exactly." Aradia beamed and ruffled his hair, Sollux quickly batted her hand away and John just barely saw his face with a little bit of pink on it.

Sollux finally took out the last screw and lifted the sound board. "What the ever loving thit baggery ith thith?" Sollux was utterly confused and horrified. The other four people in the room gathered around Sollux to examine the source of his confusion. John was just behind Sollux and peered into the metal box, it contained an odd plushie... The plushie was an absurd neon yellow with a very prominent rump and stiff legs that allowed it to be propped up with that rump in the air. A small sticky note with crude writing was stuck to the back of the plushies head. _"Hey little man, tell Rose to keep her storage room locked, shit could be robbed."_ John looked around, he was throughly confused. Jade and Rose were incredibly upset, He thought Jade might burst out crying. Aradia was still cheerful and Sollux... well John couldn't see his face but he assumed he wasn't very happy.

Rose grabbed the plushie roughly. "We don't tell him about this, one peep from any of you and you'll have to be his guardian. John I'll explain later." She left the room, a very tense air was left in her place. John was so confused, what the hell was the plushie, who put it there, who's little man? He looked at Jade, she had small tears going down her face, but wiped them away. John was worried, too worried to even want to stand, what in the world was going on?


	7. Chapter 7

Dave woke up on his couch, the complete and udder darkness was an odd thing to observe. He turned his head and observed the blue light blinking on his tv box. He remembered what happened before he fell asleep quite clearly. Karkat had kissed him. Dave sat up and rubbed the bridge of his nose, wait... His glasses! Great on top of all this he had no idea where his glasses were. They were his only pair since they were a gift. Though he did have his old pair... God only knows where they got to. Dave sighed and stood up, the complete dark was a little disorienting. He stumbled over to the light switch and flipped it on. The sudden bright light stung. His eyes really weren't used to that kind of light, ever. He squinted and started to look around his house, if he was lucky Karkat had just stashed them some where in the house. He checked every nook and a cranny in the kitchen, checked every crevice in the living room and even checked the bathroom drug cabinet. Karkat must have taken them. Dave sighed again and pressed his back against the nearest wall, he slid down and pulled his knees to his Chest. What was he going to do? He had no idea how to deal with this situation. He'd had too few of friends for too short of a time for any of them to develop a crush on him. He'd dealt with unrequited love before, but never when it dealt with a friend. He didn't want to lose Karkat as a friend, that was actually a regular nightmare of his. He thought about calling Karkat, they could make up couldn't they? Well it's not like they had a argument... But will Karkat still want to talk to him even if Dave doesn't like him back? His fingers brushed over his phone in his front pocket. What would he even say to Karkat? Maybe he could lie... Tell Karkat that he really did like him. Then they could still hang out and it wouldn't be that hard to date your best friend would it? Who knows maybe in the end he'd fall in love with Karkat too. He shook his head, faking it would only create a worse situation. He looked at the time. Would it be too late to call rose? She was always good at this kinda of stuff. He pulled out his phone and dialed roses number.

"Mm hello Dave what do you want?" Roses tired voice resounded into Daves ear.

"Did I wake you your majesty?" Dave kept his voice monotone.

"No I was up, for the most part. What could you possibly want at this time of night?"

"Karkat... Kissed me."

"Oh, one sec." Rose mumbled something and another voice answered her. Dave was curious as to who she was talking to.

"Who was that?"

"No one, really. Let's just focus on you."

"Fine." He knew better than to pry with her.

"So he kissed you? And you're upset?"

"Of course I'm not upset, I just need to find a way to talk to him without damaging our friendship and making sure he'll still want to be friends even if I don't like him like that."

Rose yawned "In other words you are upset and you're panicking about him leaving you if you don't return his affections?"

"Think whatever you're deluded brain wants to, just tell me what I should do so I can talk to him again."

"Yes, of course, in my semi professional opinion I think you should call him. Since Karkat truly is an emotional person, he's most likely still awake, and having a bigger panic attack than you could ever dream of. If you call him you can tell him simply that you still wish to be friends but you don't reciprocate his feelings." Rose said these words quickly almost as if she were reading them out of a book. Of course she wasn't though, this stuff was just second nature to her.

"Right... Any way you could give advice on exactly what to say to him?"

"Sorry Dave, you know what words will comfort him better than I do."

"I wish I did..."

"And I wish you luck, call me back after you call him and tell me how it went."

"I will bye Rose."

"Farewell, David." Dave could almost hear her smile as she said David. Even though he thought she acted a bit disconnected at times, she could do little things like that to cheer him up. Dave hung up and scrolled through his contacts. 'Mr. Nub' came up and Dave clicked on it. The nick name came from a few years ago when Karkat attempted to make horns for a Halloween costume and the sharp demon horns turned into sad sad nubs. Dave smiled softly at the memory, he really didn't want to lose Karkat. He pressed the call button as his stomach did the kind of acrobatic stunts pros would only dream of. The ringing stopped and it sounded as if some had picked up.

"H-hello?" Dave cursed his stuttering.

"... Hey, Dave..."

"Karkat I... Do you...We can..." Dave muttered and struggled to find words to suit this situation.

"Dave...do you... Um do you hate me?" Karkats voice was the softest that Dave had ever heard it. That softness was the most pitiful thing ever.

"I could never hate you Karkat... Even if you scream at me I'd never hate you." Dave tried to stay calm but he knew he'd have to say the words that would break Karkat.

"I have screamed at you, a fucking lot actually."

"And I still don't hate you."

"Then... Well...if you don't hate me then...how do you feel, about me that is?" Karkats voice was almost like a child and Dave felt like puking. A moment of silence came and went before Karkat spoke again. "Dave?"

"Karkat... I... I don't like you that way. But God damn I wish I did... This is sucks some major ass." Dave tried to think of what his bro would say, that's all he could come up with. Though he knew Dirk would have been so much better in this situation. Suddenly he was acutely aware of how empty his apartment was and how alone he was, this made him feel worse. "Karkat... Can we still be friends?"

"Well hell yeah we can be friends... I'll get over this stupid little crush and we can be best God damn bros again." Karkat was using his fake 'okay' voice. Dave knew him well enough to know the difference. Though he didn't know what to do to actually make him alright.

"Karkat... We've been friends long enough that I know when you're lying."

There was a pause. "What the hell do want me to say! That we can't be friends because your douchey facade and movie cuddles got to me and I'll probably always love your shitty raps and ironic god damn selfies!" Karkat was whispered harshly with little hiccups from crying. Dave felt his eyes start to burn with tears but blinked them away.

"Karkat... I... I'm sorry."

"Don't fucking be, It's my own fault I fucked up...I'm the one who fell horns over heels for you..."

"Did you just say horns?"

"What? no I said head, has all this shitty drama gotten to your think pan?"

"Heh I guess so." There was a moment of silence. "Do you by any chance have my glasses?"

"I do, they're on my face so kankri won't come over and give me a speech on relationships..." Karkat whispered so his brother wouldn't hear him.

"Kankris there?" Dave knew that Kankri lived pretty far from here so it was odd that he visited.

"Yeah, he decided he need to see me perform so drove over here. The prick convinced Kanaya to pay for his hotel room and get him a free ticket."

"Man, you poor thing, also why is he still up it's like 3am."

"He discovered that there was a Dr. Phil marathon playing on the TV for free, it's terrible."

"Oh god... How have you not kicked him out yet?"

"Well Kanaya seems to be the only person who can convince him to go to his room."

"Karkat come here I think you could learn a valuable lesson from this fellow!" Kankri shouted in the back ground.

"I gotta go I'll bring your stupid glasses to the studio tomorrow, we could do that interview then too."

"Sounds good, bye Karkat." The phone clicked signaling that Karkat had hung up. Dave sighed, he and Karkat were good now, but he wasn't sure how to act around Karkat... He definitely couldn't do the things he used to, like putting his arm around his shoulders when they walked or sat down next to each other. Now that he thought about it, he had given Karkat false signals... Plus the fact that Karkat knew he went for guys, it was a recipe for disaster. Dave remembered that he was supposed to call Rose back with an update.

"How did it go Dave?" Rose answered on the first ring.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Welcome to the 21st century Dave, this cool new device just came out called a cell phone, and guess what it does!? It keeps track of numbers and gives names to those numbers so when those numbers call the owner of the phone knows they who's calling. How fantastic is that?"

"Shut up Rose."

"Sorry but you were asking for it, so how'd it go?"

"Better than expected, but now I'm not sure how I should like act around him..."

"Well its quite obvious, act normal. Maybe cut down on your usual flirting but act normal. Now with that out of the way I have an important question to ask you."

"What's the question?"

"Did you reject Karkat because of his gender or do you just not feel for him in that way?"

There was a slight pause before Dave answered. "Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"Yes."

"... I'm surprised you didn't just ask me straight out."

"Well, subtly is the key to answers, plus straight could be a touchy subject."

"Shut up."

"Are you going to answer?"

"Since you're miss know it all, I think you already know the answer."

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think it's because you don't like him that way."

"And of course you are correct... Am I still you're cousin?"

"Well of course , I'm pleased. This means you'll be alright about my sexuality as well."

"Wait...rose you're... Lez?"

"For some reason I don't like how you said that... But yes I am. In fact I have a girlfriend."

"Really? someone wants to date you?"

"I won't even grace that comment with a response."

"Man, Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Touche, Soo that voice I heard earlier, is your gf over right now?"

"She is indeed," Rose giggled "Speaking of which I've probably worried her so I should go. Good night Strider."

"I feel like this convo isn't done yet, lalonde."

"Sorry Dave, hoes before bros." with this rose hung up. Dave sighed and shook his head. It's was now 5am he needed to go bed. Dave got up from the wall, his butt was so numb, he regretted sitting for so long. As dave stripped to his boxers he briefly wondered how the glasses thing was going to work. He could hide in his car til Karkat came... But John comes ear- John. John, he had forgotten about John in the midst of all this chaos. He had told John that they had gone on a date. He wondered how John had taken it... Was he disgusted with Dave? John will most certainly turn him down tomorrow. Dave sighed, when that happened he'd just play it off as a joke. No big deal. He'd be a man, like Karkat. He realized how similar and, brace for it, ironic this situation was. Karkat liked Dave and Dave turned him down, Dave likes John and Johns going to turn him down. It seems like no one wins in this situation. Dave flopped down on his bed. Today was too long... Without getting under the comforter, he fell asleep. That night he had a terrible nightmare.


	8. Chapter 8

"Jade? whats going on?"John tipped his head to the side, hoping to figure this odd situation. John, Jade, Sollux, and Aradia sat in Dave's recording studio. There was a de constructed sound board with a comical neon plushie stuffed inside of it. The air was very tense.

"The plushie was left by Dave's deceased brother, Dave was pretty messed up about it, actually he's still messed up, but he'll never let it show." Aradia responded before Jade even had the chance to respond, she was still eerily cheerful about it. John was now more than a little unnerved by her. He was more concerned about this news though, this was just what he needed, more problems to plague his mind.

"Yeeth AA have a little thenthitivity" Sollux spun around on his chair revealing odd 3d glasses.

"What do you mean its not really that big a deal, is it? Death is a beautiful thing." Aradia's smile grew wider as if she was talking about the best thing in the world. Jade sniffed and Aradia stopped herself from saying anything else.

"Jade are you alright?" John laid his hand lightly on her shoulder.

Jade shook her head gently. "I only knew him for a few weeks, but he was amazing... it was so awful for Dave, they were really r-really c-close..." She wiped her face with her sleeve. Sollux got up and offered his chair for her. She seemed to be mostly sad for Dave, John wasn't sure what to do, death wasn't something he was very experienced with... The only person in his family that even came close to dying was his cousin who disappeared on a cruise, but he had hopes that Jake was some how alive, he was one of those survivalist guys. John pulled another chair next to her and sat down he then pulled her into a hug, she leaned in to him and cried on his shoulder. This was really the best he could do. Jades tears soaked into his shirt, he felt pretty useless just hugging her. He remembered he'd heard some where that talking it out kinda helps?

"What happened to Dave's brother?" He loosened his arms so she could sit back and talk, she did so.

"He went on tour, and w-well the plane i-it crashed and every one on it was k-killed." Jades head thumped back on Johns shoulder with shake and a whimper. He could only imagine how Dave must have felt, the idea of Dave crying... was really image of Dave in a bar flashed in his mind, suddenly he connected something. Dave said he spent too much time in Roxy's bar, did Dave drink his problems away? Did he become an alcoholic to numb the pain? John squeezed Jade, not for her benefit but for his own, he couldn't handle the thought of Dave going through that. He knew Dave well enough to know that he wouldn't go to anyone for help, he'd keep it all inside, bottle it up and never let it go. John wanted so badly for Jade to be Dave, so he could hug Dave and tell him he could let it go and that John was there for him.

"When did this happen?" John asked Jade quietly.

"A-about two years ago." She mumbled into his shoulder. Had Dave let himself cry yet? Or had he held it for all this time? He thought about Roxy and Hal, he wondered how they had taken it, Hal must have been even more devastated and he couldn't have had the choice to drink. Roxy...maybe this was why she drinks all the time? John actually didn't think that was why she drank. Rose must have had a hard time too... it had to be so awful for all of them. He could feel his eyes burning, he was about to cry too.

A finger tapped on his shoulder.

"Look both of you, Dave ith fine he alwayth hath been and with people like you taking care of him thereth no chance he won't be fine, pluth he'th got Kk and that idiot will kill him if Dave trieth anything. Not to mention Rothe will make thure he'th fine too. He'th got too many people to take care of him for him to get bad again. tho you thhould all quit your pity partying becauthe its almotht time for Dave to go on." Sollux, oddly enough, calmed John and Jade. Sollux was crouched next to them, but he quickly stood up next to Aradia who patted him on the back. John noticed the Sollux smelled like... honey? Thats weird. Wait... it finally occurred to John that Dave was still gone and, as Sollux had said, Dave had to go on soon. Shit... he never had the chance to tell Rose what he had said.

"T-thats right... where is Dave?" Jade looked around, as is Dave could have been there the whole time with out her knowing.

"He went to go talk with Karkat I think..." John was now remembering the drama of earlier, his head hurt now. "I need to go talk to Rose." John moved away from Jade and stood up. He nodded at Aradia and Sollux and left the room. He tried to only think about telling Rose about Dave seeing Karkat, but then images of Dave and Karkat together, was Karkat there for Dave when his brother died? Did Karkat cuddle with him as he cried? All these thoughts were literally making him dizzy. He sat down on a chair in the lobby. He then thought about how his two idols were most likely dating and a bitter laugh came from his mouth. He thought this job was going to be heaven, especially after what Rose said. It wasn't even that she said he had a chance with Dave, It was that she was a lesbian. At his last job his boss was awful, he openly ridiculed gays and made jokes about just shooting them all. When he found out John was gay he was fired on the spot. He was relieved to be away from that guy, but it was a nightmare being unemployed, he almost got evicted. John sighed and put his head between his knees. This was just awful.

"Excuse me you look very upset are you alright?" A careful hand was placed on his shoulder. John looked to his side to see a girl with short cropped black hair, pale skin, black lip stick, fake lashes, and an impeccable fashion sense.

"Uhh umm yeah yeah I'm fine..." John wiped some tears from his face, he hadn't even realized he'd been crying. Man he was such a loser.

"Hmmm well you should come with me my name is Kanaya you know Rose right? I am assuming you're acquainted with her since you're in her building." The woman stood up and motioned for John to follow her, she was in a long red skirt with a slit up to her knee and a black t-shirt. She reminded John of Rose in a way. John figured he should go with her since he was going to see Rose anyway.

"I'm John." John walked a few paces behind Kanaya. He wondered absently to himself how she knew Rose. He assumed they weren't related since they looked so different.

"Very nice to meet you John. I'm also going to assume you are upset for the same reason Rose is upset am I correct in that assumption?" Kanaya stopped in front of Roses office and looked at John. The way she looked at him reminded him of a mother looking at a kid who scraped his knee, though John had never known his mother he was sure that was what that look was.

"I'm not sure...possibly, you're here because Rose is upset? Did she call you or something?"

"Yes, Rose contacted me, We... are very close and I'm the person who helps her through tough times." Kanaya turned a light shade of pink and turned her head away to open the door. Inside the room Rose sat at her desk with her head down. She turned her head just slightly and a purple eye peeped out from a blonde mass.

"Hi, Kanaya, John." She sat up straight and fixed her hair. Her eyeliner was slightly smeared and John knew she had been crying, if only barely.

"Rose, are you okay?" John hurried over to her side and hugged her, she didn't hug back. John pulled back and sat up on her desk.

"Yes, I'm fine John no need to worry really." She scratched the back of her head and look at Kanaya. Kanaya was standing in the door way looking very awkward. "Kanaya you may come in you know."

"Ah, yes sorry I was just, well, I'm not sure what I was doing..." Kanaya walked quickly to the other side of Rose and proceeded to stand there awkwardly. John could tell she wanted to do something, but he wasn't sure what.

"Kanaya, he knows about us." Rose smiled gently at Kanaya and then at John. Kanaya's eyes went wide then she grabbed Rose's shoulders, ducked down, and pulled her into a kiss. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but when it was over Kanaya was more relaxed and Rose seemed more happy.

"I'm glad you are accepting of us John." Kanaya almost seemed as if she was glowing now, actually, John could swear she was glowing...

"If I wasn't I'd be a hypocrite." John gave her a real smile, which was quite the accomplishment considering his head was still a mess of problems.

"Ah, I guess it would be quite silly of you then." Kanaya smiled at John, she reminded him of a mother, it was weird.

"I suppose you want to know what all the fuss was about that plushie and the note?" Rose Started digging around her desk drawers.

"Uh... well Aradia already explained that, which reminds me, Dave told me to tell you he needed to see Karkat today and won't be coming back till tomorrow."

"That explains Daves absence, Kanaya were you aware of this?" Rose looked up at Kanaya. John wondered why Kanaya would know.

"I did, I was thought he would've told you earlier, they're also planning on an interview tomorrow."

"Ugh they are a pain in my ass, by the way John, Kanaya is Karkats manager. I assume you are a fan of him as you seem familiar with his name." Rose smiled in her graceful way. Kanaya was Karkats manager? Wow, these past few days have just been filled with stars.

"Wow, thats pretty awesome." John just gave her a goofy smile since he didn't want to stare dumbstruck at her.

"Even if he's very emotional, he really is great person." Kanaya gave a small graceful smile.

Rose let out a big sigh and let her head thump down on her desk. " Since Daves not here then we"ll have to use a recording, which is very inconvenient since he has questions piling up. He hired an assistant to help him, but if he's not here it'll just get worse."

"How many are there?" John sild off the desk and sat down in the chair in front of the desk.

"38 and counting, he hasn't actually been on in two days. He better actually work tomorrow or I'll tape him down in that office and make him cry." Rose grumbled into her lap.

"Okay, I think we need to let you de stress, Hey John?" Kanaya rubbed Roses back rythmicly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could handle playing the recording for her?"

"Uh, yeah I'm sure I can do that."

John sat in the recording studio fighting with a computer.

"No! I just want to play this file! Quit. Trying. To. Play. Elton. John!" As John tried to click on one of Dave unused recordings, Elton Johns Midnight Creeper played from the mis behaving speakers. **"Agggghhhhh! Cooperate you useless computer!"**

I apologize if this chapter is a little rough, I just kinda wanted to put it out quickly so you guys could have it. I'll probably fix it up later. ^.^ Also I think I made Solly too good with people, though I'm sure therapy has taught him how to deal with people. I love all of you that read this (I also love the people that haven't read it) and I love it when you comment, makes my day really. :D


	9. A Boy and a Guinea Pig

"Hello ladies and gentleman welcome to Strider Radio! Changing music trends one stride at a time! I hope you're feeling as pumped up as I'm not, about this line up of sick beats that I'm about to throw down. Heh I can feel you all jumping up down like a 3 year old on Christmas before his dreams are crushed mercilessly by the knowledge of Santa's nonexistence, for those of you who don't celebrate Christmas then your jumping around like a jumping bean with electricity flowing through it. Or a bar tender on a caffeine high. Anyway I hope you enjoy this line up since it took me a whole 5 minutes to choose it with my unbeatable taste."

"Welcome back ladies and gents I hope I didn't just break you with the absolute perfect song I didn't, fucking sweet, cause we got a long way to go. Heh, for those of you who didn't make it through that journey, I'll say a few words for your resting soul. Dearly departed I hope you haunt someone with proper ears, then posses them and so you'll be able to properly enjoy the beast songs I dole out to all you fine people with proper ears for proper listening. Here's another burst of great music made by great people."

"I hope you still remember that you're listening to Strider Radio! Where We're Changing music trends one stride at a time! If you forgot you must have rocked too hard. I also hope you enjoyed my dear friend Karkat as he rocked your earlobes very un gently with his very un gentle voice. I know a lot of you, and I mean a lot. Like if I could show you physical representation of all the requests it would be like a giraffe on an elephant, anyways that many people have requested a interview with that cranky crab of a person. As much as I like making him mad, I can't just call him up 24/7, he's too busy screaming at you guys on stage so you're gonna have to chill on those requests since they're kinda impossible to accomplish them as fast as you want me to. Alright I've talked to much, you're probably sick of me so now I'll make you sick with some beats."

"Yo! Welcome back to Strider Radio where there's currently a guinea pig looking at my face... I don't know where he came from. This little guy is just standing on my sound board, looking at me... with these, beady, beady eyes. He's jet black with black eyes, I just... why? What does he want? Does he want my soul? You can't have it! I don't even have one! Doesn't he know that my manager,Rose, burned it years ago? If he serves a demonic force you'd think he'd be able to sense that... _-creeeeaaaak- sorry Dave..._.A co worker of mine just came in and took the guinea pig... I have no more words for this."

"Turns out the Guinea pigs names is The Mayor, he's a year old, likes chewing cans, and is now my buddy until he poops on me. He's like my pirate parrot, but he's a guinea pig on my shoulder an he doesn't talk. God damn I wish he could talk, though for some reason I feel like it would be one of those demon voices and he'd summon satan and bring about the destruction of the world. Any way I'll give you guys the music you tune in here for every day instead of my Guinea pig ramblings."

"The Mayor pooped on me. We are no longer the best of buds. I really thought we had something good going,but you know what they say "Nothing good lasts forever." The Mayor is now back with his owner and I hope he regrets his actions and misses me as much as I don't miss him. Cause I don't miss him at all. He's stupid, and rude! and fuzzy... and warm an' cute... really cute actu-Shut up! All of you shut up!"

"The Mayor is back. We've made up, I'm sure that if he could talk he'd say in his demonic Guinea voice _**"OH Dave I'm so sorry that I pooped on the shoulder of your favourite shirt so that you'll now have to bleach the absolute shit out of it to ever make it acceptable out in public again, I'm so sorry."**_Of course that's what he'd say... Aws did you hear that? He made a piggy noise in my ear, I need one of these. Wait, no if I bought one I'd be cheating on The mayor. _Don't worry buddy, I'd never do that I love you too much_ I've let The Mayor choose the next playlist, I hope you enjoy the oddly can themed playlist."

"Well our time is almost up, The mayor and I wish you all a music filled and happy day. I hope that your crush you stalk notices you, I hope your boss who always under pays you gets fired and you get promoted, I hope that your bully realizes their mistakes and noogies themself, and lastly I hope you have a great life and live it to your full potential. See you next time, Guineas and non guineas have a good life, you deserve it."


	10. Chapter 9

Dave sat in his car with his sweatshirt's hood up, praying to god that no one tries to say hi to him. Socializing was at the very bottom of his to do list, unless it was with Karkat, for obvious reasons. A grey ford fiesta pulled up and a bucktoothed, blue eyed model stepped out. Dave couldn't help himself but watch. John stuck his head back in the car to grab something then stood up and shut the door. John scratched his head before heading inside, Dave couldn't help himself but watch John's hind end as he walked. Dave shook his head as John entered the building, what was he doing? Falling for a straight guy? That was a recipe for disaster, he sighed and put his head on the steering wheel. He wondered how oddly John was going to act around him... Oh god, would he quit? Would John go that far, as to avoid him. A tapping on the window made Dave gasp and slam is head back, effectively giving himself a headache. Dave's best friend stood there with an eye brow propped up behind reflective aviator shades.

Dave rolled down his window. "Yo." He gave Karkat a cool two fingered wave.

"Take your stupid glasses." Karkat haphazardly shoved the glasses on Daves face, very nearly giving him a punctured retina, and then walked with incredible speed into the building. Dave fixed the glasses and sighed, hopefully they'd be able to pull of being casual during the interview. Dave got out the car and headed into the drama hole, today was going to be the most awkward day in his life.

"Hi Dave!" Jades cheery voice came from her desk, she was watering a tomato plant that she had in the corner of the room.

"Hey, Jade. That plant's not dead yet?"

"No! I am way too good at gardening to ever let that happen." She got closer to the plant, "Don't worry sweetie momma wouldn't ever let anything to you." Dave shook his head and went to the break room for coffee. Shit shit shit shit shit! abort mission! I repeat abort mission!

"Oh.. uh.. hi Dave." John sat on top of the counter, his phone, held loosely in his hand, was suggesting that he had been using it before Dave came in.

"Hey John, did anyone make coffee?" Play it cool Strider, play it cool.

"Not that I know of... Hey, I got you some monster, you told me that I should get you some." John held out a monster can. Mission is getting dangerous, the troops are unable to pull out, death is almost certain.

"Sweet thanks Egbert." Dave carefully took the can, as to avoid skin contact, he hoped it wasn't obvious. Was he playing it cool? Dave couldn't even tell anymore.

"No problem." They sat in terrible silence for a few very long seconds.

"I hope you realize that you are running low on recordings? and that leaving work early for personal matters is very immature and creates a hassle for everyone." Rose chimed in leaning on the door frame.

"Ah, Sorry Rose. Spur of the moment things, they just come up you know. Besides I got Karkat, I think that's pretty damn amazing." Dave opened his monster and took a sip.

"I'm greatful that you've done that, but you're still going to have to pay for the panic you gave me. I'm taking one of your vacation days from you. Also you'll have to do more commercials."

"How did I make you panic? I told John to tell you,wait" Dave paused for a moment,"No! Please don't make me do more commercials!" Dave stood up from leaning on the counter. This was a serious thing, he only did commercials for a few select businesses, but one of them... the one that pays the most mind you, has the creepiest owner. Like if chuckie and a clown had a kid and then that kid had a kid with the god father and then lost all of its brain cells to drugs, that would be the owner. "John you did tell her right?"

"Mhm." John simply nodded.

"He did tell me but still that's no excuse, its pretty hard to run a radio show when the host is always MIA." Rose finally came into the room and went for the coffee pot. She started the process of making coffee.

"I know I know I'm sorry, look I'll be good from now on. Here I'll even go prepare some interview questions rights now." Dave made a very cool abscond from the break room. He was quite proud of himself, he didn't even have to interact with John much. Dave walked to his recording room, he looked down at the aluminum can of energy in his hand. Was this a peace offering? Obviously from the way John was acting he didn't feel the same way Dave felt and he would live with that. It was a fools dream anyway. He sighed as he opened the door to his studio, he should've known it wouldn't be empty. Just when he was hoping for some alone time.

"Holy shit, you cleaned this dump. How long did it take? A week? Two weeks? or did you get a crane to take it away and replace it with a whole new room?" Karkat sat behind the glass, his voice came through the speakers on the side Dave was on. Karkat sat in Daves chair fiddling with the buttons. The sound of a record being scratched played over and over again. Dave shut off the mic with controls on his side. Karkat scowled at him and said something Dave couldnt hear through the glass. It was probably profanity. Dave went inside the room Karkat was in.

"It only took three hours, it wasn't that bad. It was just bad to some eyes."

"Strider, I was about to call a health inspector here. They'd probably call it one of their most repulsive cases and then they'd go home and cry themselves to sleep with the image of this room." Karkat spun around in the chair.

"I'd be pretty proud if that happened, now get out of my chair, go sit in yours."

"You seem to be in an off mood... is it about-" Karkat asked nervously.

"No! No karkat it's not that. I'm fine, wanna help me come up interview questions? Talking subjects?" Dave suggested quickly.

"Look if you're gonna act like a worthless insipid douchepress then for the love of all that is god damn holy tell me what crawled up your ass and chewed out your shit tube." Karkat, still sitting in Daves chair.

"Karkat, it's some thing you're not gonna wanna hear so please just drop it."

"Dave I'm your best bro, I want to hear all your petty girl problems."

"Karkat I'm serious."

"Dave, so am I." They stared at each other for a moment, Karkats scowl deepening, Daves stoicness doing nothing, it was intense.

"Fine, fuck face. You win, Lets come up with some awful questions."

"Thank you, I have the list of the last ones we used. Also the fan question list." Dave pushed Karkat, chair included, away from his computer and opened up his documents. He pulled up the interview lists.

"Looks like we could get by with just using the fan questions." Karkat peeked over Dave.

"Nah, we'll need at least four more, assuming you'll actually answer with good answers and not smart ass answers."

"But those are all I can give, I mean if you're going to ask me how I do my hair I'm sure as hell gonna tell you that I use a careful balance of fuck you and a quick spray of sweet sweet douche forever and I top it all of with a brush made from the hair of an actual ass fairy." During Karkats speil he got up and sat down in his own chair, but he couldn't sit in it like a normal human being, of course not. Karkat turned the chair backwards and sat on it douche style. Dave let out a small smile at Karkats shenanigans. He grabbed his own chair and sat down in front of the computer.

"That was terrible when said that last time, though I believe you also said that you rub a bit of pure pulverized bull penis and I complemented you on your use of alliteration."

"Fuck I did didn't I? That sounds so stupid... How could you let me say that on public fucking radio?"

"Cause you probably wouldn't have let me interject, plus it was pretty hilarious."

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later, but first we gotta..." Dave trailed off as he turned to see Karkats red face. "Sorry sorry lets just do the questions..."

"Right..." Karkat got up from the chair, turned it the right way, and sat back down. He leaned forward, with his hands braced on the chair between his legs. The two boys spent around an hour trying to come up with questions, that hour was filled with jokes only best friends could share and awkward moments only an unrequited love could create.

* * *

Soooo I'll apologize for the god awful long wait... I don't know if this'll be an apology or not buuuut I was thinking that you readers could comment or message me questions you'd like to appear in Karkats interview. ^.^ they can be for Dave or Karkat. Please keep them realistic, aka, don't ask things that Daves radio fans wouldn't know, like Dave and Johns relationship. Thank you so much for spending your precious time reading my story.


	11. Drunken Adventures

** Wait, what's this!? A chapter in a timely manner? The world must be ending. Any way, look a chapter. It doesn't really move the plot, but I figured that Dave and Karkat attention was needed with their new closeness in the world of canon. Sooo I typed this out in a fit of shipping passion. Please excuse the random point of view changes, I just needed to get both of their feelings out there and that was the only way. The next actual chapter shall be out soon once **_I_** can actually come up with questions. . Welp, enjoy this short moment from Dave and Karkats past. **

* * *

"Hey Karket... I-I think I'm drunk..." Dave and Karkat sat in Dave's living room, there was a coffee table in front of them with a sprite bottle and a vodka bottle. They each had a red cup to mix the drinks in. They were both lounged on Dave's couch.

"No duh fuck... face... we both are." Karkat leaned on the arm of the couch with his feet laying on Daves lap.

"Hey I gotta suriuus kestion... do you think... do you think my eyes are like... weird... or un-natural?" Dave took his sun glasses off, much to Karkat's surprise. This was the first time Dave had taken his sunglasses off throughout their entire friendship. Karkat sat up and got closer to Dave, he looked into Dave's crimson eyes. Karkat saw the fear of rejection in Dave's eyes, deep in the swirls of red, there was also the feeling of loss like Dave had just damned himself. Even if Karkat was drunk, some how he knew that this moment and what he said next was crucial.

"No... dude thuse are shick as hell, like... they are sho cool they're like... the amblum of coolness like if there was a mayoir of coolness he'd give you the kay and he'd give you the key because the other... the other guys would be all suckass and you'd be all non-suckass." Karkat slurred out majestically in his intoxicated state.

"Wow... that means a fucking lot dude... ya member lidsay? I lied abuut breaking with her because I cud do bettuur... she uhhh she broke up with me because of my terrible eyes... she broke my fucking heart, just because I'm weird..." Dave put his face in his hands, fuck he felt terrible. Dave could feel the pin pricks of tears coming from his damned eyes.

"Aww shit Dave, that sucks like major nook, she was a bitch... I mean who would do that ta you? It's like jusht a dick move... a really big dick move, I mean like who cures if your eyes are all red and shit I think that's just what makes you, you. Like if you didn't have those you'd still be with a shallow chick who only sees stupid stuff. You need to be with someone who sees the good stuff."

"I doubt I'll ever find shomeone other then you who won't be all like ' holy shit that's weird stay away with your cancer eyes' and I don't even think that cancer peeps have red eyes... where the hell did she get that from?" Dave felt Karkat move his feet from Dave's lap and start to rub his back. "And and she wasn't the furst ya know... when we first met, du you member? I was abut to get ma little 3rd grader teeth kicked in cuz they thought I wuz a deman with my eyes... I'll never be normal... I'll always haf ta hide behind those stupid triangles..." Dave glared at the anime shades his bro gave him after he got beat up. He always hid. That's what he was good at, hiding like the coward he was.

Karkat started to sober up as he realized the reality of how Dave had felt all these years. "Dave... I don't think you should wear them anymore, no one will hurt you anymore. I think you should just try to not wear them for week, ya know? If any one messes with you they'll have me to fucking answer ta and I'll kick those cunts right in their douchy little jaws."

"Fuck Karkat no, the idea of even leaving the apartment woth out them... fuck... no just no. It'd kill me. I'm nut gonna go even a day. I mean... I also use them to hide my face... like they say the eyes show you your soul or some shit like that... no one needs to see my soul... my soul is probably the shitiest thing. hell... I don't even wanna see that..." Dave pulled away from Karkat and pulled his knees to his chest.

"Dave, you're eyes are amazing, you're amazing, even your soul and that shit. You don't need ta hide, you don't need to do anything. You definitely don't need to hide behind your glasses. What if I wanna see your soul? If you'd let me see it everyday I promise you that I'd love it and you everyday." Karkat pulled Dave into his lap.

"Really?" Dave looked up at Karkat, Karkat looked back and smiled at the red eyed blonde. Karkat felt his heart quicken, Dave had never actually gotten this close to Karkat before.

"Really." Karkat put his hand on Dave's head and gently scratched, he knew it was something that calmed Dave. Dave smiled lightly and closed his eyes. Karkat liked the feeling of Dave in his lap, Dave was warm and fit perfectly. Karkat admired the light sprinkles of freckles on Dave and the way his lips curved. The idea of kissing Dave slipped it's way into Karkat's mind. He was horrified at that thought, the fuck was he thinking? This was his best friend and that was it.

"Yo! Lil man! Karbro! You guys still here?" Bros voice rung through the apartment. Dave quickly rolled away from Karkat and dumped himself on the floor.

"Shit!" Dave hissed through his teeth.

"I'll go hide this stuff you go stall." Karkat whispered and started to clean up. Dave went off to complete his quest.

"Hey bro how was work?" Dave non-nonchalantly asked leaning on the door frame casually.

"... the fuck did you guys do?"

"W-what do you mean?" Dave stayed stoic but his voice betrayed him.

"One, I could smell the alcohol on you the moment I could see you, Two, you've never asked how my day was."

"We didn't do anything I swear." Dave foolishly tried to lie. The next moment Bro was gone and there was a sword pressed against Dave's jugular.

"You wanna try again?" He whispered in Dave's ear.

"Okay! I'm sorry! We got into the back cupboard..." The sword was gone.

"I appreciate your honesty, but you're still grounded and just for your info I used the back of the blade." Bro put the sword in the fridge, cause that's where they go. Dave sighed, Dirk liked to always make Dave think his life was on the line. Though sometimes it really was, so his guard had to always be up.

"Hello Mr. Strider." Karkat came innocently around the corner.

"Cut the polite shit, you're drunk too aren't you?"

Karkat looked surprised and looked at Dave. "I forgot that you suck at lying to him."

"As he damn well should be." Dirk poured two cups of de-caf coffee and gave the boys each one.

"Now drink this and get your asses to bed, Karkat I'll let you off easy and I won't tell your father."

"Thanks." Karkat nodded his head at Bro. Both boys went up stairs to Dave's room. Dave fell asleep first and Karkat simply watched him. Once he was sure that Dave was out, Karkat played with the messy blonde locks on Dave's head. Oddly enough, Karkat felt like he was in some kind of rom-com, he finally knew how the main characters felt.


	12. Chapter 10

"Hello ladies and gentleman welcome to Strider Radio! Changing music trends one stride at a time! You've all been asking for quite a while about when Karkat would back and because I love you all as much as I love a good beat-"

"I'M BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND FUCKERS."

"Thats right fems and lads Karkat Vantas is here once again to grace you with his voice. We'll being doing an interview! I won't spoil too much for you or you all might become spoiled brats and demand ponies or some shit like that."

"FUCK IF THEY WANT PONIES DAVE, YOU GIVE THEM PONIES, MAKE SURE THOSE PONIES GET A SWEET ASS PINK RIBBON THOUGH OR ELSE THAT PONY IS INCOMPLETE."

"Well hell I didn't know ponies could be incomplete..."

"FUCK YEAH THEY CAN BE."

"Folks you've heard it here first, all ponies need pink ribbons or else it's incomplete and you were screwed over when you bought it."

"BEWARE, GET A PINK RIBBON TO SHOW YOU CARE."

"I think that's a cancer saying Karkrab."

"SHIT IT IS ISN'T IT... FUCK."

"Well, with that we're gonna leave you with some jams while we prepare the interview."

* * *

"Welcome back bros and lady bros, I hope you enjoyed the sweet beats I sent your way."

"BRO DON'T TAKE ALL THE DAMN CREDIT, THAT ONE WITH THE BRUUUUMAH NOISES, I CHOOSE THAT SHIT."

"... heh that noise you just made, that was fantastic. Karkat is the king of recreating dubstep noises. Karkats dubsteping skill is so amazing it almost makes me wanna start rapping to the ill beats spilling out of his grimacing lips."

"SHUT UP! YOU INSIPID SHITDICKING ASSGRAB!"

"No can do Karkrab I have a radio show to host."

" *incomprehensible grumbling* "

"Thank you for your input Karkat, anyway, those interview questions that you all desperately want will be coming to you soon, but I of course can't grant your wishes too soon or there'd be no dramatic pausing for affect... kind of like this..."

"FUCKING DOUCHE."

"Karkat can't handle dramatic flare."

"DRAMATIC FLARE MY ASS YOU'RE JUST BEING A COCK HOLE."

"See, he gets defensive."

"I INSULTED YOU HOW IS THAT DEFESIVE!?"

"Your defense is like a soccer net verses water, that poor net tries so hard while that water passes right through it. The nets all like 'why do you walk through me like I'm nothing' and the water just goes to talk to that terrible bottle that caresses it so perfectly. The net then goes home and cries about how the water doesn't give two shits about it."

"YOU DOUCHEY BRAINLESS NIMSHIT... THAT MADE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING SENSE."

"That's cause you just don't understand Karkrab, now I think we've talked enough, here's another mix of beats to vibrate your brain into useless mush."

* * *

"SHIT MY BRAIN! ITS MUSH! WHATEVER SHALL I DO NOW, OH WAIT I KNOW, I'LL BE DAVE STRIDER CAUSE THATS WHAT'S IN HIS HEAD. OH MAN, BEATS, IRONY, NET BULL SHIT, AND GLASSES."

"I think you need to also add sexy as hell."

"OH RIGHT AND SEXY AS- WAIT, FUCK YOU!"

"Heh score one for Strider and still zero for Vantas."

"I WILL TAKE THAT METAPHORICAL SCORE BOARD AND SMASH IT TO PEICES WITH YOUR NOOK SNIFFING POMPOUS HEAD. THEN WHEN ITS JUST SPECKS OF METAPHORCAL DUST I WILL MIX IT WITH WATER AND CRAM IT DOWN YOUR DISGUSTING, REVOLTING THROAT."

"My metaphorical score board takes offense to that."

"GOOD."

"Score board abuse is very serious Karkat."

"I GIVE ZERO SHITS ABOUT YOUR SCORE BOARD AND IT'S ABUSE COMPLAINTS, THAT LITTLE DICK FUCK DESERVES ABUSE."

"Well as Karkat gets more and more distressed with a metaphorical inanimate object that is manipulated by other people, we're gonna go to a commercial break."

* * *

"Are you looking for that perfect gift for your sweetie? Does she have a sweet tooth? but does she also have a silly side? Jokers Goodies is the perfect place to satisfy both of those! With cakes concealing small plastic harlequin and large harlequin cakes we know what'll tickle your funny bone. Need a cake with a real clown inside? we got it! Need something to cleanse your pallet of Betty crocker? No worries we sell bleach! So come to Jokers Goodies to satisfy your hunger and bring up your pranksters gambit."

* * *

"Welcome back, Karkat I've got a question for you."

"BRING IT ON, IF IT'S FROM YOUR INCOMPETENT ASS IT'LL BE EASY TO ANSWER."

"My ass is pretty smart just ask Rose, anyway, so a monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?"

"THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? IT'S THE MONKEY."

"Oooh, I'm so sorry Karkles, the answer was that bananas don't grow on coconut trees."

"THAT WASN'T EVEN ONE ONE THE CHOICES! THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION YOU SHIT WIFF."

"Yes, it was dear Karkat, now time for your questions! Just call 984-7936 and we'll answer some of your questions."

"ASK ABOUT MY HAIR AND YOU HAD BETTER BE PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE UNDENIABLE CONSEQUENCES."

"Alright, Yo Musical you're on ya got a question?"

"he he hi karkat!"

"HELLO."

"soo umm i was wondering i was wondering about like your love life? do you have that special someone?"

"... UH, WELL THAT'S... *ahem* MY LOVE 'LIFE' IS DOING FUCKING FINE! IT'S DOING HAPPY LITTLE FLIPS OFF OF DOOR HANDLES AND IT'S DEFINITELY _NOT_ NONEXISTENT OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT CAUSE THAT WOULD PRETTY DAMN S-SHITTY AND OF _COURSE_ NOTHING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE IS SHITTY."

"Thanks... uh Musical... (Sorry karkat...)"

"(SHUT UP BEFORE I PUNCH YOU)"

"Okay next up is Bea what's your question?"

"so i was wondering do you guys have siblings and do you have any funny stories about them?"

"HOLY SHIT, DAVE I'M GOING FIRST. KANKRI THIS IS REVENGE FOR THE GODAMNED DOCTOR PHIL MARATHONS. ALL YOU FUCKERS BETTER GRAB SOME BUTTERY ARTERY CLOGGING POP CORN FOR THIS TALE OF MAJESTY. SO I HAVE A BIG BROTHER, HIS DETESTABLE NAME IS KANKRI, HE'S COMPLETLY HORRIBLE IN EVERY WAY, SHAPE, AND FORM. HIS HOBBIES RANGE FROM STALKING TO LECTURING. ONE, BEAUTIFUL AS HELL DAY HE DRAGGED ME OUT FOR A SIBLING _'BONDING'_ DAY. HE TOOK US TO A MALL AND THERE HE WITNESSED TWO PEOPLE SMOKING NEAR A CHILD. BEING THE _'HELPFUL'_ PERSON HE IS, HE WENT UP TO THOSE ASSFUCKS AND IN HIS OBNOXIOUS VOICE HE LECTURED THEM FOR SMOKING IN THE SAME VICINITY AS A VULNERABLE CHILD. LITTLE DID HE KNOW THAT, THAT DIAPER SHITTING KID WAS ACTUALLY A MIDGET. THAT MIDGET PROCEEDED TO BITCH HIM OUT, HE TRIED TO APOLOGIZE BUT HE'S ALSO WONDERFULLY TERRIBLE AT THAT AND TRIED TO GIVE THE MIDGET A LESSON ON HEALTH AND SECOND HAND SMOKE. THE MIDGET KICKED HIS KNEES AND HE FELL AND THEN THE MIDGET PUNCHED HIM. HE GOT KNOCKED OUT WHILE I CRIED FROM LAUGHTER. BEST THING EVER."

"You are a terrible brother."

"HE DESERVED THAT."

"I shake my head at you, anyway on to the next-"

"WOAH BRO THEY ASKED YOU TOO YOU KNOW..."

"I figured that you've talked enough for the both of us, so Becky what have you got for us?"

"this is for Dave, if you had the chance to dye your hair what would you dye it to?"

"Hell I'd probably dye it like a sweet teal green. That would look pretty sick."

"GREEN? YEAH THAT'D LOOK SICK ALRIGHT, BUT NOT THE COOL SICK THE MEDICAL SICK."

"You'd look pretty good with bright cherry red hair, we'll have to talk about that to Kanaya."

"HELL TO THE NO."

"Look shes giving us a thumbs up, we're making this happen Karkat."

"EITHER ONE OF YOU TOUCHES ME AND I'LL CUT YOUR HANDS OFF!"

"Aw Karkat but it's be fucking great, coloured hair is the shit now-a-days I'm sure all your fans would love it."

"I'LL DO SHITTY INTERVIEWS WITH LITTLE FUCKS LIKE YOU FOR THEM, BUT DYING MY HAIR LIKE MARASCHINO CHERRIES IS WHERE I DRAW A MONUMENTAL LINE OF NOPE!"

"What a shame, we could've been a red and green duo of christmas losers."

"THAT SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE I'D NEED TO GET THERAPY FOR."

"Damn, We're at the end of this session. With that I shall hope that you all enjoyed this interview. I also hope that you'll all smile at least 10 times today, your parents will appreciate your hard work, your boss will fire that prick who breathes too loud, and lastly I hope you have a great life and live it to your full potential. See you all next time let yourself be happy, you deserve it."

"BYE, I HOPE THAT SOME OF YOU WILL COME TO MY SHOW AND GET SOMETHING SIGNED SO I CAN SAY HI TO YOU. UMM ALSO INSPIRATIONAL B.S"

"Come on Karkat that shit was weak as hell."

"UGH FINE! WELL... I HOPE THAT YOU ALL LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND LIKE WHAT YOU SEE... AND THAT THAT YOU'LL FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WORTH IT. CAUSE YOU ARE. AND UHH SHIT, WHO EVER SAYS YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH IS JUST A SHITDICKING PRICKISH ASSLORD AND NEEDS TO GET THE GOD DAMNED CACTUS OUT FROM DEEP WITHIN THEIR BOWELS."

"Thank you Karkat."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"Good bye bros and bras."

"BYE."


	13. Chapter 11

"I hate doing your stupid endings so much, I could almost puke even talking about them." Karkat took off his head phones and stood up to stretch.

"Hey my endings are great and don't you forget it," Dave pressed the on button to his mic, "Right John?" he asked the oblivious black haired boy on the other half of the studio.

"Huh?" John looked up from his phone and tipped his head at Dave, sending a few stray hairs in front of his eyes. Dave fought a smile that tugged at his lips, damn it John**_ Quit. Being. Cute. _**

"Just say yes." He spoke to the mic.

"Yes...?" John's eye brow raised and he smiled nervously.

Dave shut off the mic, "See?" He gestured to John. "People love it."

"That kid didn't even know what the hell you were talking about, look he's still staring at you like a clueless nincompoop. Who the hell is that anyway?"

"Oh yeah, that's right you and John haven't met, he's quite the fan of you. He actually borrowed one of your CDs from me not too long ago." Dave stood up and walked out of the recording room, Karkat followed him.

"John meet Karkat Vantas, Karkat meet John Egbert." Dave pointed to each of them accordingly. He had been a bit nervous about this moment really, John meeting Karkat... The person Dave likes and the person who likes Dave. In his head he worried that Karkat would figure out Dave's feelings towards John. Dave looked at both of them and waited for them to say their precious first words to each other, would Karkat hate John? Dave could only wait and see.

"What kind of stupid name is Egbert? Wait, is your dad the weirdo who runs a joke and cake shop?" Karkat spoke the important first words in a frustrated and confused tone. Dave mentally slapped himself for worrying about nothing. Of course there wouldn't be any tension what was he even thinking?

"Yup that's my dad and thank you being one the very few people to realize how weird his store really is." John smiled at Karkat just like he would anyone else and Karkat scowled like he would at anyone else.

"I pride myself in seeing beyond what most people see because I'm the most mature person I know." It may have been Dave's imagination, but he could've sworn Karkat puffed his chest out. It was time for Karkat to do his usual thing and try to convince people that he's actually got his shit together. Dave always enjoyed the show of Karkat trying to impress people, not to mention to see if the people fall for it.

"Ha! No offense Karkat, but earlier you were talking about how all ponies need a pink ribbon, imitating dubstep noises, and screaming insults every ten seconds. I'm not sure where your maturity is, but its really not showing today." John gave Karkat a cheeky smile. Dave, in that moment, felt like a father watching his child ride a bike with no training wheels. He almost felt the need to scream 'You're doing it son, you're really doing it!' as John rides down an imaginary hill on his imaginary bike.

"You shut your filthy gutter mouth Egbert! What you saw...or uh heard, was a stage act lots of people have those!"

"Easy there Karkles, John's just giving you sass. We all know that you are just the very picture of maturity." Dave slung his arm around Karkat.

"Oh shut it Strider, you have no room to even flap your huge face hole, I mean you're still scared of the fucking dark."

"Woah there Karkat, going for my completely rational fear is a low blow. I'm hurt bro." Dave took his arm back and put his hand on his heart.

"Oh can it before I sew it. I'm gonna go get some coffee, want some Dave? How about you Egbert?" Both boys nodded at Karkat. "John what do you want in yours?"

"Three spoons I think... or maybe two... make it three just to make sure." John counted on his fingers as he tried to remember, he then looked at Dave as if he expected Karkat to ask Dave about his coffee ingredients, but Karkat just left. Shit, alone with John again, quick act natural.

"So you like Karkat in person?" Smooth, bring up the other person who makes you nervous.

"I think so, though I can't tell if he hates me or not... are you guys good friends?" John avoided eye contact, Damn did Dave really make him that uncomfortable with the whole date thing...? Wait, why is he asking about Karkat, does he thing Karkat and him are dating since Dave basically came out to him? Can he clear that up? Should he clear that up? Or would it be better for John just to think that, maybe it would keep him from being nervous around Dave.

"Yeah we've been friends for longer than I can count. We're really really close." Dave wondered which way John would take that...

"Oh, uh, that good I hope that you guys... um stay really close." John seemed to take the bait.

"I'm sure we will, though he can be a real dick sometimes, when he comes over I have hide all the knives cause one time he got so pissed at me, for nothing might I add, that he ran into the kitchen-"

"Shut the fuck up Dave before I find a knife again." Karkat grumbled from the doorway, he held three coffee mugs precariously in his small hands. One mug had three spoons sticking out of it, Dave stifled a laugh. Karkat handed the mug with spoons to John and the other to Dave.

"Thank you Karkat, you are the best at making coffee." John stared at his coffee and spoons, he spoke in a monotone voice.

"I know I am." Karkat beamed. Dave took a sip of his coffee, the sugary creamy liquid had just a hint of coffee, Perfect. Deep inside Dave, though he wasn't sure why, the fact that Karkat got his coffee just way he liked made him sad. Weird.


	14. Chapter 12

Karkat left shortly after they finished their coffees. Dave said his goodbyes to his friend even though he was staying for another few days, he had a concert to do in the next town. Dave stood in the lobby staring at a sleeping and possibly drooling on her desk, Jade. He walked over and crouched next to the desk, so his eyes just peaked over the edge. Terrible ideas were starting to form in his terrible little head.

"Watching girls sleep is usually not allowed in the work place, control your hormones." Rose used what Dave assumed are her ninja powers to appear behind him and ultimately scare the shit out of him. He slammed his head forward and into the desk, then gracefully fell backward on his fantastic ass.

"What the hell Lalonde! Where in the ever loving fucking hell did you come from!?" Dave leaned his head back to glare at her, luckily glares really only need eyebrows because that's all that Rose could see.

"The hall way, I assumed that was the appropriate way to enter this room, was I mistaken? I'll try walking through the wall next time, will that please you?"

"Yes, yes it will. Make sure I can film it though, shit would go viral on youtube. Hot goth channels spirits to allow her to walk through walls." Dave stood up and brushed off his pants for dramatic flare.

"Sounds excellent, we'll make a fortune. Do you think we'd be able to sell T-shirts?"

"Hell yeah we will, a black shirt with you materializing out of the front. It'll be sold out the moment we put it up for sale."

"After a few months a TV producer will hire us for an exorcism show and we'll be famous."

"I'll finally be able to meet one direction and tell them how to actually make good music."

"David! One direction tries very hard, you'll probably hurt one of them if you say that, don't be that person David."

"Rosid, I think I'm already that person."

"Rosid? Really that's your come back? I expected better from you David."

"Sorry to disappoint you Rosid."

"You are just terrible."

"I know, wanna help me be even more terrible? Possibly even raise a level higher than terrible? Wanna help me be a dick?"

"How I can help you be something you already are?"

"Ouch, you've burned me bad..."

"Need some ice for it?"

"Nah I'll just use your heart, I'm sure it's colder anyway."

"Just like the arctic."

"Nice, anywaaaaaay quit distracting me from my sacred mission. I need your help to roll Jade and her desk out to the parking lot."

"Why have I not fired you yet?"

"Family can't fire family, if you don't help me I'll just get John."

"I will not help you harass Jade."

"Then John it is, Jooohn!" Dave called down the hallway to the break room.

"You are the worst Dave, why can't you just let her sleep?" Rose went behind Jade and wrote on a sticky note that she then stuck on Jades hand, Dave didn't pay attention to Rose's actions. He kept his attention on the gorgeous geek walking down the hallway with a DS in his face.

"What do you want Dave? I'm in the middle of a fishing tourney and there's no way in hell I'm letting that weird clown win." John continued tapping away on the device.

" What in the world are you- Oh." Dave circled around John and looked over his shoulder, his chin just barely touching Johns shoulder. He watched a small round person with rosy cheeks attempt to fish. Animal Crossing. "You nerd."

"Shut up Dave! Animal crossing is the best." John moved away from Dave quickly, his face getting a tint of red. He shut his DS and shoved it in his pocket.

"I concur with John, I find that game very enjoyable as well." Rose had taken to folding Jades post-it notes into very tiny paper cranes, she was oddly really great at it.

"You're both nerds, now John, the reason I summoned you here this afternoon is to enlist your help in moving Jade out into the parking lot while she's asleep." Dave gestured to Jade and then to the parking lot.

"That is so terrible...I'm in." John smiled a toothy grin.

"I knew you would be, now I need you to keep her head on the desk by moving her chair while I move the desk." Dave moved to the front of the desk while John moved to behind the chair. Rose shook her head and stepped away. "You know Rose, bystanders are just as guilty as the perpetrators. 1. 2. 3." Dave and John slowly pulled/pushed Jade towards the door.

"Hey Rose wanna hold the door open for us?" John asked the bystander.

"I'm not a part of this John." She finished folding her last tiny crane.

"Hey Rose wanna hold the door for absolutely no reason at all?" John asked again.

Rose gave him a very bleak look. "You've been around Dave too much already..." She slid behind Dave and held the doors open.

"Thanks!" John beamed at her.

"You're a doll Lalonde." Dave nodded at her and resumed moving the desk out to the side walk.

"When do think she'll wake up?" John looked up at the greying sky.

"When it rains." Dave stated simply and stopped at the curb.

"Wait, we're putting her out in the rain?" John stared at Dave, uncertainty at the edge of his words.

"We are indeed, pretty great right? Now here's the curb so we'll have to be very careful here, we both need to bring the desk down and then I'll move it back while you inch her forward and then we'll slowly lift her down." Dave stood on the side of the desk miming every move with his hands.

"I think putting her in the rain is a touch too far Dave."

"If you're worried about the desk being damaged from the water I got it professionally waxed like a week ago, I like to be prepared for emergencies, like flooding or something. By the way the weird looks you get when you wheel a desk into a body shop are the best. Also I plan on taking all the papers back inside."

"I still don't thin- wait, you got it fucking waxed with car wax?! Can you even do that...?"

"Heh you sure can, cheaper than a real car too, now get down here and help me."

"I umm... can't we just use the ramp over there?" John pointed to where the sidewalk dipped to meet the parking lot, a wheel chair ramp.

"...Good job Egbert I was hoping you wouldn't actually go along with what I said, I'm proud of you for standing up and saying that to me. You pass the test." Dave spoke quickly as he pulled that out of his ass. John laughed lightly as he knew every word was bullshit. They moved slowly toward the ramp and then slowly down it. Jade slept peacefully not even remotely aware of what her co-workers were doing to her.

Dave and John sat peacefully in the break room drinking insanely unhealthy energy drinks together. Dave was very proud of himself, both of his plans worked without a hitch. He had restored his friendship with John with a sick prank.

"On a scale of 1-10 how mad do you think she'll be? John stared out the window in the break room. The window took up about half the wall so you could see most of the parking lot, including the part that held Jade. The sky was get darker by the second, the rain would be coming soon.

"My best guess would probably be 11, but at least I know she left her shot gun at home today."

"Wait she brings a shot gun to work?!"

"Yup, shes never shot it inside before, but once when the company cat died she gave it a 21 gun salute, though it was only one gun and two shots." Dave took a sip of his monster.

"You guys shot a gun and didn't get the cops called on you? How in the holy heck did you pull that off?"

"Oh we got the cops called on us, Rose was pissed. She told Jade not to do it, but Jade did it. It was hilarious."

"Also you guys had a 'company cat'?"

"More like Rose brought her cat to work everyday and he slowly wormed into everyone's heart. Poor Jaspers..."

"What happened to him?"

"You don't want to know." Dave looked into the distance as he remembered Roxy stumbling into the studio with a gigantic book. She tripped on her on feet and threw the book, it landed right on that poor bastard. Dave closed his eyes in honor of Jaspers.

"Shit, it's starting to rain!" John jumped from the couch and pressed his face against the window. Dave followed, but resisted the urge to also slam his face on the glass. They both watched as the rain steadily went from a drizzle to a full on shower. Jade rustled a bit on the desk, then stood as fast as one could possibly stand up. She looked around in horror and confusion, then ran toward the building. At this time John was almost on the floor laughing and Dave had quite the smirk going on. John's laughing halted as a soaked Jade stood in their door way.

"You jerks." She started to walk toward them with the devil in her eyes and sticky note in her hand.

"I always tell you not to fall asleep, but you go and do it anyway. It's not good work ethic, I'm just trying to help you out." Dave was as smug as ever.

"Sorry Jade, it was his idea, but you gotta admit if it wasn't you, you'd think it was pretty good." John felt a little bad but that didn't mean wasn't immensely proud of the prank.

"Both of you shut up right now." She looked at the note in her hand and smirked as evilly as she could. "Dave, Since it was your idea, you get a punishment. Rose has moved your commercial duty to tomorrow, 1 pm sharp."

"Wait, no. no. no. I am not mentally prepared for that. She can't do that to me!" Dave broke his stoicness for just a moment.

"Buuuuut she can and did, can't cancel nooow." Jade sang every word.

"Whats so bad about doing commercials?" John looked at Dave, he couldn't imagine what was so bad about recording commercials.

"I can't even explain him John, all you need to know, is that it's the worse."

"It's what you deserve! For putting me out in the damn rain." Jade pouted a bit, the cold wetness seemed to be seeping in, sucking out her energy, "Sorry Dave, but it's happening, now I'm gonna go home and I'm taking your umbrella Dave. She scuttled out of the break room, leaving a wet trail.

"Well shit, I'm screwed tomorrow and I'm gonna get wet going to my car." Dave was actually really nervous about the commercial. Rose didn't seem to understand that, that clown guy actually scared him a bit. Of course he wouldn't ever admit it to her, but it'd be nice if she'd figure it out some how.

"Honestly you deserve the umbrella thing." John beamed at Dave, Dave's heart swelled at the heavenly sight. _Damn it too cute_.

"If I did, I definitely do not deserve to get commercial duty shoved on me on short notice." Dave scratched at the back of his head.

"Is it really that bad?"

"It's worse than you could ever imagine Johnny boy." Dave stood up, checking his phone for the time, "Welp it's about that time, I'm gonna head home too, the rain seems to have calmed down so I want to try to not get soaking."

"Oh yeah," John looked at his phone, it was around 3:30, "Guess it is time to go home. Today was really amazing, will Karkat be coming back soon?" John smiled widely.

"Not sure, he's only in town for a few more days and we don't like to do interviews of the same people twice in a row."

"Darn, do you two at least get to meet up often?"

Dave had forgotten that he had unintentionally intentionally made John think he and Karkat had thing going on. Shit. "Not really, only when he's in town randomly."

"I'm sorry, that really sucks." John looked genuinely sad for Dave. Well, shit, he really regretted convincing John that he and Karkat were dating. What if he asked Karkat about in the future?

"It's fine really, I'm gonna head off alright? I have a serious nap to go attend to." Dave, however would not be sleeping when he got home. Sleep was dangerous and to be used sparingly.

"Alright, see ya tomorrow Dave." John smiled at him, it wasn't as bright as his usual though, in fact it was almost sad.

"Bye John." Dave left the break room and left the building. He ran to his car and made it in with just his head wet. He sighed and put his head on his steering wheel. Did John notice how quickly he tried to leave? Dave hoped not. He drove home, his mood was melancholy and the rain didn't help. He got home, changed, and watched T.V in an attempt to numb his brain. It didn't work. He couldn't even pin point why he was upset. Was he nervous for tomorrow? Was it because he lied to John? Or was it because he was scared of Karkat figuring out his lie? Maybe it was because he wished he could make the lie real. He didn't know, he was kinda scared to know. Dave got up from the couch and took out some old CD's, they always calmed him down. He stuck one in the stereo and pressed play. That familiar voice speaking to him, it wrapped him up and made him able to breath again.

"Yo dudes and dudettes welcome to Strider radio changing music trends one stride at a time, I'm here with my lil' man today everyone say hi to my bro Dave."


	15. Chapter 13

Dave got in his car and started it, pulling out of his apartment's shared garage. He shivered at the thought of going to do commercials later. Then he wondered for a second, could he convince John to come with him? Maybe that psychopath would tone it down if a new person was there. When Dave first met Gamzee, he seemed normal, high, but normal. Slowly Gamzee became bat shit crazy, but there's small glimpses of sanity every once in a while, proof that it still exists. Dave sighed, he almost didn't want to subject John to Gamzee. On the other hand, there was no way in hell he was going alone. He parked a little sloppy in front of the studio, he happened to arrive at the same time as Jade.

"Hi Dave!" Jade rolled her window down and screamed across the lot. Dave slowly waved back in a properly cool manner and stepped out his car, Jade promptly scurried over. "Are you ready for today?

"I'll deal with it." Dave responded nonchalantly.

"That's good, I was actually kind of worried, but if you have confidence in yourself then you'll do fine." She smiled brightly at him, Dave turned away, he had never told anyone why he hated Gamzee and he probably never would. Her carefree smile reminded him of Johns, it made him feel a little awkward. They made it to the doors, Jade held one open for him, he nodded in appreciation. They headed toward the break room together. John was already there shuffling through some papers. Dave headed straight for the coffee maker and was very disappointed to find it bone dry.

"What cha doin?" Jade plopped on the couch next to John and eyed the stack.

"Rose gave me some, uh surveys, apparently you guys filled them out a while ago and and she never got around to looking at them. So she gave them to me to summarize what you guys said."

"I'll apologize now for my answers, I expected Rose to read them." Dave remembered all of his smart ass answers.

"I'll decide if I accept or not after I read yours." John wanted to search for Daves but he knew the papers had no names. Dave turned on the coffee maker and watched as it began to turn water into a delicious caffienated liquid. He decided now would be a great opportunity to ask John about coming with him.

"So John, what would you say if I could get you out of those papers?"

"I'd be scared of how you'd do that."

"You probably should be scared." Jade slung her arm over the couch and turned to look at Dave.

"Well because of yesterday," Dave avoided Jades glare, "I'm going to do some commercials, wanna come with?"

"Why?" John cocked his head at Dave.

"I think helping me with commercials will be very beneficial for you."

"How?"

"You'll see, trust me, doing commercials will teach you more about the radio business."

"What, is big bad Davey too scared to go alone?" John smiled big, this smile wasn't endearing though, instead it made Dave want to storm out. John didn't even have single clue about Gamzee, John didn't know anything about the hell Dave was going to be subjected to. Not to mention he used Roses taunting nick name.

"Look, if you wanna stay here and do stupid paper work be my guest." Dave turned on his heel, left the break room, and headed to the door to outside. He prayed to god that John would give in and come with. Dave reached for the door handle just as he heard Johns footsteps. He held back a sigh of relief, he turned and taunted John. "Aww, couldn't stand to see me leave?"

"I couldn't stand to look at those papers anymore, that's it." John responded firmly. Dave opened the door and held it for John.

"Right right," Dave mocked John, "We'll be taking my car." He pointed to his vehicle.

"Alright."

They both climbed in and Dave instantly handed John a big book of CDs. "Take your pick." Dave started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. John shuffled through the book and popped in a pop cd. As soon as a song started Dave was singing along.

"You're really good at singing." John remarked when a song ended.

"I used to get voice lessons almost every should hear me rap, it's even better."

"Do you not take lessons anymore?" Before John could get his answer, a new song started and Dave started singing again.

They pulled into a small rundown brick building. The bricks were chipped and badly faded, the glass door had a good sized crack in it, and the roof had a tarp over one side.

"This is where you do commercials? Why?" John was amazed and horrified.

"Rose owes this guy a lot of favours and so we let him manage commercials at his studio, I think we're the reason this place is still in business." Dave shut the car down and stepped out. John did the same a little more cautiously. As they both neared the building the door creaked open, a tall, slender man with very fluffy black hair slid out of the door.

"Daaaaaviiiie, what a mother fuckin surprise! I didn't know you were comin over man. I would've got you some-"

"Gamzee I'm not here for what ever you think I'm here for, Rose told you I was coming."

"Riiiiggghhht Rosy did call, I didn't pay attention too much on what she said the chick uses too many fuckin words. Heeey wait who's this little dude." Gamzee came closer and towered over John, smiling gently.

"Uhh hi, I'm John Eg-."

Gamzee interrupted and grabbed Johns hand from his side and shook it a bit too roughly. "I'm Gamzee Makara, glad to meet you." His words were loose if not slurred.

"We probably should get started." Dave said a bit quickly. Gamzee touching John made his veins go cold, Dave wanted to get John away as soon as possible.

"Right right we need to get you and your motherfuckin sweet ass voice talkin about stuff." Gamzee slung his arm around Dave, filling Dave with anxiety. Gamzee pulled Dave into the building, John followed closely. He didn't understand why Dave didn't want to come, Gamzee seemed nice enough. They entered the building, the inside was just a sitting room with a small conjoining room separated by glass that was most likely the recording room. There were two other doors, one lead to a small kitchen area and the other was a bathroom.

"Welcome to my office johnny, make your self at home." Gamzee grinned and flopped on a beaten and stained couch.

"It's nice, very homey." John sat down a few inches away from Gamzee. Dave's eye twitched at how close Gamzee was to John, he swallowed his protests.

"Did you make me coffee?" Dave remembered he never actually got coffee.

"Of course! I wouldn't leave my bro hangin coffeeless." Gamzee jumped up and stumbled onto the kitchen area. Dave sat down the couch next to John opposite to where Gamzee was.

"Is he high?" John whispered to Dave.

"There's a 99.9% chance. " Dave responded in a normal volume.

"Alright here ya go, some coffee for you Dave bro," Gamzee drawled out the words as he handed Dave a cup, the coffee nearly spilled all over Daves lap.

"Woah! Uh, thanks Gamzee." Dave quickly took the coffee from the dazed man.

"Alright, shall we get this party started?" Gamzee smiled lazily at Dave.

"Right, yeah. Do you have the script printed out?" Dave stood up, cradling his coffee against his chest.

"Yes I do, they're in the booth." Gamzee motioned for Dave to follow him as he went into the recording room.

"Alright," Dave looked back at John sitting a little awkwardly on the couch. "I'll try to do this quick alright, don't be so nervous."

"I'm not nervous, just go do your stuff." John grinned at Dave, who allowed a small smile to break through. Dave turned and went into the recording room, Gamzee was waiting in a swivel chair next to a mixing board. Gamzee smiled lazily at Dave and spun the chair. Dave shut the door behind him and sat down in the chair next to Gamzee, he also plac . The chairs were conveniently placed in front of the glass so they could still see John. Dave gave him a small wave, John returned the wave with a smile.

"Got yourself a nice kid there." Gamzee's drawl was gone, his voice seemed dead.

"Yeah, he's our newest employee." Dave had to stay calm, any sign of weakness and Gamzee would win.

"He doesn't seem like your type." Gamzee fiddled with a knob on the mixing board.

"That doesn't matter, lets just get to work."

"Aw ordering me around now?" Gamzee spun around to look at Dave, a smile on his face and dead eyes staring into Daves soul.

"N-no, It was just a suggestion." Dave made a mistake and Gamzee's smile widened.

"Oh, Dave you are simply hopeless you know," Gamzee stood up. "Pretending you are in control," He stood in front of Daves chair and leaned down, bracing himself on the chairs arms, he placed his lips right next to Daves ear. "When we all know, you are just barely holding on."

Dave pushed Gamzee away and stood up, his chair shooting backwards into the wall.

"Leave me alone. We need to work." Daves heart was racing, his fear of Gamzee was very real and petrifying.

"Ordering again, how interesting. A few months apart and you seem to have forgotten your place." Gamzee started walking toward Dave once again. Dave quickly considered his options, run, grab John, leave, and face Johns questions; keep trying to work with Gamzee and hope it'll be okay; or give up and have to explain his bruises. None were good options. Gamzee was now in front of him, staring him down. Long hands found their way up to his shoulders. Dave felt his stomach flip. The hands tightened and Gamzee lowered head to Daves ear once again. "I'll have to remind you." Dave flinched away from breath on his ear. The hands tightened unbearably, Dave winced, he'd definitely have bruises. Gamzee let go and stepped back, an awful grin painted on his face. Gamzees hand flexed just before snapping out and slapping Dave. He grabbed Dave by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up to his level. "I'm the one who gives orders, never forget that you piece of shit." He let Dave drop and then headed back to his chair. Dave stood still for second, _would it be alright if he sat down, or would he get in trouble?_ Dave dared to look at Gamzee, Gamzee was watching him with a sickening smile. "You can come sit down."

Dave's eyes widened for a second before he hurried over to his chair.

"Are we going to work now?" A tremor was very clear in Daves voice.

"Of course Dave, I always get my work done."

* * *

Hello readers! Happy holidays! I posted something!


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